Saturday, February 02, 2008

From Me To You 23

- Things that are certain to make me laugh at you: wiping your face with the bundle of cutlery wrapped in a napkin, flossing your teeth with the string from the tea bag, picking your teeth with the end of your straw and admitting to playing DDR by yourself at home (especially if it's the Mario version).

- If you're only getting one word answers from me and you have to actually say something to me first to get me to talk at all, I don't like you. In fact I don't even like you enough to waste my time explaining all of the things about you I find repellant. Believe me, if it gets to this point you should just stay the fuck away from me.

- If your girlfriend sounds like someone's mother, run. Run far and run fast. Just get the fuck away from that scary bitch.

- If you want to ask reference type questions, ask someone in reference. That's why they get the big bucks. And I'm certainly not getting enough to do their job for them.

- Acting snotty because you want me to do something differently will make me care even less about whatever it is that you're pissy about. You act like a civilized person and so will I. That's how it works.

- Repeat after me, pissing off my entire staff in order to save a few dollars is NOT worth it! The couple of dollars you'll save won't cover the loss of good people who know how to do their job.

- People work harder, for longer and do a better job when they can take pride in what they are doing and feel like they are accomplishing something. Trust me on this one. I know what I'm talking about.

- Me not liking you and me being angry at you are not always the same thing. Assuming otherwise is silliness which will make them the same thing very quickly.

- If you have to ask, I'm not mad at you.


Mr. Fabulous said...

OKay good, cause I was about to ask...

Robin said...

Ugh, just to warn you I'm always asking people if they are mad at me. It's one of my annoying flaws.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Fab - How could I be mad at you with an ass like that?

Robin - I'll just have to kill you then.