Speaking Of Houses

I've been thinking a lot lately about houses. Well, to be more precise, I've been thinking about what it is I want in a house, what's important, what's required and (when I get bored) what I'd want in a dream house.
I've always had a list of things I'm looking for in a home - and I do mean home, I have no intention of making a life for myself in a "house". But over the years that list has grown and shrunk again, changed and changed again.
Part of the trouble is, I'm a huge design whore. I love interior design (now there's a career I really should look in to) and I love things that make a place special. So, unfortunately, what I can afford and what my dream home looks like are not just miles apart, they're on different planets. (Slowly, I am working my way closer to the dream but for now I'm here.)
Where am I at now?
Right now I'm day dreaming. So here are a few things I would look for if my lotto numbers came through.

A closed front porch - I love them. A lot. I'm the kind of person who enjoys sitting outside without actually sitting outside. It's some kind of personality flaw, I'm sure, but it's true.

A second floor/loft - I don't know why I have a fascination with having an upstairs, but I do. I think it comes along with my love of old houses, wooden steps and heavy banisters. I also love spiral staircases for some unknown reason.

A claw foot tub - I am not someone who enjoys taking baths. I'm a shower person. So I know it's absolutely ridiculous for me to want a claw foot tub as badly as I do. But something about the look of them... I absolutely adore them.

A finished basement - I am, for the most part, much happier hanging out in the basement than I am upstairs. It's my retreat from the summer, especially when I don't have A/C.

A really nicely done kitchen - I cook and bake a lot. If the kitchen I have now has taught me anything it's that having a shitty kitchen is torture. Not having enough counter space, too few cupboards, bad layout, shitty lighting - it all makes doing something I love more like a chore and that's just unacceptable. Also, if I had my way, every kitchen would come with a dishwasher (whether that be a machine or someone, I don't care as long I don't have to ever wash them again).

A private library - We are talking dream home, after all. Mine would definitely have a private library. I don't even require a big room, just one room entirely devoted to my books (of which there are hundreds) with an enormous chair and a reading lamp.

A pool - Again, we're talking about my dream home here. Fun fact: I love to swim. I could happily swim every day. I just hate public pools and beaches are so damned crowded. A private pool would make me happier than I can say.

Enough room to keep a horse - This is the most cliche girl thing I will ever be caught admitting to, but I love horses. I always have. I've long said that one of my biggest goals in life is to be able to own a horse. Much like I could swim every day, horseback riding is something I would kill to be able to do every day.

And finally (for the purposes of this post anyway, I could keep going forever)

A really amazing entertainment room - Movies aren't something I just enjoy. They aren't something I watch "once and a while". They are a huge part of my life. I went to film school for a reason. Not having a good place to sit and watch movies would ruin an otherwise ideal home. Have you seen pictures of entertainment rooms people have dumped thousands of dollars in to? Yes. Like that. Maybe even a guest house converted in to one big home theatre.

That Was Strike Two

I may have mentioned that I got new neighbours a while ago. The house next door seems to have cycled through a few since my old neighbours left (I really liked them and I wish they hadn't moved). Not one of those people have been good neighbours. They've all ranged from annoying to completely obnoxious.
The latest batch, however, have been something special. One of the most interesting interesting things to note is that I actually know one of the people living there. She's an ex co-worker.
I think she should be glad that she's an ex and not current co-worker.
The last couple of weeks have gone about the same. Clearly more than one person in the house gets every other Friday off because every other Thursday they all go out and party. So at around 2.30am they all show up back at home, loud, drunk and obnoxious. Right outside my bedroom window.
I have to get up at 6.30am to get ready for work. So you can imagine how frustrating it is to be woken up and kept awake for an hour listening to the stupid drunks outside and my dog having a spaz attack.
Yeah.
So here's the deal, neighbours of mine. Last night was strike two. I'm finished. We're not doing this again in two weeks time because I've had quite enough.
If this happens again, I will be calling the cops. Make no mistake, I am not fucking with you. My sleep means more to me than your fun. And you know what? I won't lose a minute of it to feeling bad for doing it either.

Make 365

A few people I know have been doing 365 projects, in fact it seems to be the new trend and apparently I missed the memo. Well, I'm all caught up now and I've decided to give it a go. Not because it's a trend and certainly not because everyone else is doing it. I'm doing this because there are lots of things I keep putting off or that get stuck in the planning stages and I need a push. I need some reason to get off my ass and get some work done.
So here we are. Every day for 365 days I plan to make something. Anything, really. Just so long as I make it from scratch. I'm not going to set too many rules for myself (as I tire of rules quickly) apart from not making the exact same thing over and over. I'm not going to set a size or difficulty requirement.
It might be jewelry stuff, it might be baking, it might be sewing or knitting or painting. And I'm going to try to get pictures of everything and link them here when I think of it.
Right now, I'm on day six. You can check out day 1, 3 and 4 on Flickr already. (Day 2 and 5 will be up soon)

Obligatory?

Has the "end of the year" post become an obligation? Is it my duty as a blogger to write something to sum up the last year? If so, does that really mean I give a shit?
Oh well. I'll do one anyway.

2009: a year in points

- I worried, a lot. I was also sick, a lot. I'm positive that those two things had NOTHING to do with each other.

- I started working at a new library and quit the old one (despite popular opinion that I would be there forever).

- I made it past the quarter of a century mark without too much trouble. I did not have a nervous breakdown, cry or any other "you're 25 now" cliches. In fact, I think I cared about it less than anyone.

- I completed my second short film, this time - Zombies. It was awesome and I am still grateful to everyone who helped out.

- I made some new and seriously awesome friends and walked away from some seriously not-awesome friends.

- I ended up in the hospital, which I wouldn't recommend for fun.

- I got myself a new puppy. Her name is Frankie, BTW.

- I went to Boston to hang out with two of the awesomest people I'm lucky enough to know.

All in all it was a year I probably wouldn't willingly chose to live over again, but it had its good points. Thanks to everyone who was there to make the good stuff awesome and the shittiness stuff I could live through.
See you all next year.

Always,

-Gwenhwyfar

So, How Was Your Monday?

Chances are it was better than mine.

Sunday I was fine. Paul came over for supper and we hung out for a while. I played with the new puppy and everything was great. My room is a mess and kind of intense for new pets so I decided to close the doors and sleep in the living room with the cats and the puppy. (It certainly isn't unusual for me to sleep on the couch.)

At about 1.45am I woke up with what I thought was stitch in my side. I spent about 20 minutes trying to stretch it out but instead of getting better it got worse. Within an hour I was struggling to get a breath at all. It felt like someone was crushing my ribs.

Here's a Pro Tip - Panicking makes breathing really difficult and when you're panicking because you can't breathe, it makes things worse.

So at about 2.45am I called my mom who came over to see if there was anything she could do. There wasn't.

This is probably the point at which I should mention that I have a MAJOR hospital phobia. I have broken and set bones myself rather than go to the hospital. So when I heard myself saying "we need to go to the hospital", it dawned on me just how serious it was getting.

Another thing I learned - When you show up at the hospital gasping for breath, they don't make you wait. I got a room in record time and had more tubes and things stuck in and to me than the Borg. I got intimately acquainted with both Morphine and Gravol, both of which made me incredibly groggy and neither of which made it any easier to breathe or less painful.

After a lot of drugs, more questions than I've ever been asked in my life, a CT scan, giving enough blood to cover any possible test and eating an icebergs worth of ice chips (which I had to BEG for from the first doctor and then was given as many as I wanted by the second) they decided that it wasn't any of the more horrible of possibilities.

No blood clot, no heart attack, nothing that needed surgery. It is, in fact pneumonia. It's not usual for it to come on so suddenly or severely but I guess I'm just lucky.

They loaded me up with antibiotics and gave some prescriptions. I even got some food, which I managed to keep down for almost an hour. Then I finally got to go home.

All things considered, it was a pretty shitty day. Today I'm feeling a bit better, still hurting everywhere and breathing is a luxury I promise never to take for granted again. But I'm better than yesterday.

So if anyone needs me, I'll be at home, being sick and hanging with the cats and the puppy.

PUPPY!!!

Everyone, I would like you all to meet my new little girl. So far, she remains nameless but we're going to work on that one tomorrow. I'll keep you updated.

Only 320 Days Left

I take halloween seriously. Maybe a little more seriously than most people. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It also means that I usually have my halloween costume all planned out almost a year in advance, along with several other people's (being a make-up artist has its perks).

Since I'm bored and not really in the mood to post anything too serious, here are some ideas I've come up with so far.

- Queen of Hearts (my friend and I went as Sweeny and Mrs. Lovett this year and there was talk of doing Hatter and QoH next year)

- Army Man (which would be wicked awesome if I could find a couple more people so we could have one of each pose)

- Knights of the round table (of the Monty Python variety, complete with "coconut shell" horse/personal assistant)

- House Frau (I think everyone I know would die of shock if I actually did this)

- A Lichtenstein

That's all I have for now (aside for some vague ideas about spending the next couple of years going as different Python sketches) but I'm taking ideas.

So much planning to do....

Lazy Day

I know I haven't posted much over the last couple of days. That's mostly because we've been running around doing stuff and having a good time and partly because I don't really know what to say. It's been a really super awesome trip. I don't think I've laughed so much in forever and we've seen some really cool shit.

When I booked the trip and right up to the day before I left I wasn't worried at all. I honestly didn't even really think about it much. The day I left tho, I did have a brief moment of panic. I couldn't help but worry that things would go horribly, horribly wrong or that it would be terribly awkward.

I shouldn't have worried. More than anything I've been shocked at how not awkward it is. I'm constantly amazed by how much it's like hanging out with any of my friends at home that I've known for years. I love that I have friends I can meet in person for the first time and it's like they've always been there. Robin was even kind enough to point out that I'm already blending in nicely... like a part of the furniture. She's sweet like that.

Yesterday we went out to Cape Ann and I've decided I really need to buy one of the very tiny old houses up there and set up shop selling weird shit, Robin's photos and Erik's stuff. We'll all live happily ever after and I will be remembered forever for my delightfully excentric behaviour.

That or they would get really incredibly sick of me after about a week and spend the rest of their lives cursing ever inviting me out here.

Odds

And in other news, I bought new shoes! Yay! (no, I am not one of those "shoe freak" girls. The only three pairs of shoes I own are falling apart. It's just time, that's all.)

Yet Another Warning

It's 10 days until Boston today, so you get another post about... dun dun DAAAAAAAAAAA.... my trip to Boston. I'll wait a moment while you recover from the shock.

This post is a warning, because I feel one should be given.

I am really not good at being emotional. Aside from anger which had been deemed an acceptable "feeling" by the Germans at some point. Most other things are kept pretty much under wraps. Feelings are something to be feared and ashamed of, something to shove way down deep inside away from the light of day where they can fester and rot until one day they explode and you invade another country and start a major war.

What can I say? I didn't inherit a lot from the German side, but what I did get is generally frustrating.

Why am I warning you about this? Because I've had people tell me in the past that they weren't sure how to read me or that they were disappointed when I under-reacted to something. So I'm telling you now, for the most part my reaction is only a fraction of what's going on in my head. I'm just rubbish at being excited. My family, I am sure, can attest to that from every christmas/birthday/whatever that I've ever had.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by the letters Q, X and N and by the number 8.

Perfect...

I don't know how it works in other countries (I'm sure 5 minutes on Wikipedia would clear up that problem) but in Canada at least, you're not actually required to have a birth certificate. I mean, they have you on record somewhere, but to have a physical copy for yourself is in no way required. So my parents, being my parents, decided "why bother?" and I went about 20 years blissfully unaware that I didn't actually have one. Until it came up that I needed it for some application or something.
I got one, no problem. Put it in my wallet and kind of forgot about it unless it was needed to prove to someone that I don't actually have a middle name (why would I lie about that?). Gradually I stopped carrying my wallet but left a few things in there that I figured I didn't need to carry around all the time, you know, like my birth certificate.
Fast forward to two days ago. I printed off the passport application forms so the US will know I'm not a terrorist plotting to bring them down from within (suckers) and behold! I need my birth certificate so Canada, who is apparently forgetful and not very observant, will know that I am me and that I was born and raised in this wonderful land of hockey and beer.
My birth certificate, you'll remember, is in my wallet. My wallet is always on the table next to the TV by the coat rack. So imagine my surprise to find that now that I actually need the fucking thing, it's gone.
Gone where?
I have no idea. I have torn my house apart, twice. It's no where to be found.
What. The. Fuck.
Luckily, after talking to a surprisingly helpful and chipper woman from Stats Can. or where ever the fuck she was from, it turns out for a few bucks more I can get a replacement same day.
I'm blaming this all on you, America, for making me get a passport to begin with. Don't think we won't be having a chat about this when I get there.

In Person?

Some in-person things you should know about me in case you ever meet me.

- As much as I'm not really a "touchy" person, I hug my friends all the time. It's just how we say hello and good-bye and whatever else needs to be said with hugs.

- I talk a lot. I know I do. I talk more and faster when I'm nervous or excited. Be afraid, be very afraid.

- I am prone to giggle fits, it's some kind of genetic flaw. This gets worse when I'm nervous or excited. (Seriously, all the women in my family have this problem.) This means that something stupid will set me off laughing and I can't stop. It's weird. I know.

- Yes, I am this sarcastic all the time.

- I often make an ass of myself and I stick my foot in my mouth so often it would be easier to say that occasionally I take my foot out of my mouth.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you all this, you obviously need to pay more attention to Robin's blog because I really did just rip off her post. Also, I'm going to Boston to visit Robin and Manly Man! Yay! And we're going to see the new Kevin movie! More YAY!
This, my friends, is going to be epic.

One Of Those Weeks

You ever have one of those weeks where you can't seem to decide wether you're up or down? Where one minute everything is wine and roses and the next you just want the whole world to go away? Yeah, kinda like that. The last week has been something of a gong show.

In and amongst the peaks and valleys I got sick, did the zombie walk, got pulled over by the cops, went to my friends birthday, hung out with a friend I haven't seen in way too long, had a stranger let himself in to my house, had my make-up win a contest, got in to a fight and realized that I may have been overestimating some people in my life while underestimating others which has left me feeling incredibly disappointed and amazed all at once.

Maybe I'm just lame, but personally I like things to be a little more even. If the peaks and valleys are separated a little more they're easier to take. When they start jumping up and down that quickly it kind of makes me feel sick.

Holy Hell...

Has it been that long?

Sorry guys. I honestly haven't forgotten about this place. I've just been stupid busy and occupied with a million other things. It's hard to be motivated to write anything at all when I do have a free minute when all I want to do is lay on the couch and maybe watch an episode or two of something or other.

Tomorrow is the shoot day for my teeny, tiny, very small film. For such a little thing it is causing me massive amounts of stress and costing me a small fortune.

I'm not complaining, mind you. This is really something I'm more excited and happy about than I have been in... maybe ever. Every minute of stress, every penny spent, every sleepless night, every worry I have, every bit of work done is absolutely worth it to be able to spend even one day doing the one thing that makes me happier than anything in the world. And I'm incredibly fortunate to have some really amazing and awesome people on my side, helping me out and putting themselves out just so I can do this. I appreciate it more than I'm sure I'll ever be able to express.

So lets all cross our fingers and hope that tomorrow goes really well.

Send good vibes and happy thoughts. I need all I can get.

At Least It's Not A Crack Habit

I don't smoke, I don't drink, really I have very few vices. Unfortunately one of my few vices tends to get expensive. I don't know how it happens.

I have got to stop going to Best Buy, Future Shop and Rogers. Honestly. I went to Rogers to rent one movie so how the fuck did I end up buying three movies, a season of Dexter, a season of Rome, a season of Corner Gas and renting Arkham Asylum? What the fuck?

Maybe I should just take up smoking.

Happy Blogiversary To Me!

I'm actually having trouble believing that I've been doing this four years already. It seems like only yesterday I wrote my first post. But then, I never was very good with dates.

Five blogs, 1 facebook page, twitter and a whole lot of ranting later - Kill The Body still stands.

Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me!

-Gwenhwyfar

Painkillers...

The only thing keeping me from killing everyone right now.

PMS: Inside every woman lurks a homicidal maniac.

I'm Not Dead, Honest

Just really, fucking, head-splittingly busy.

Aside from my regular work load I also have a wedding cake to do this week. Most of which had to be revised several times because everything was going horribly horribly wrong. This was causing me too much stress and panic. But now that I seem to have it all sorted I am much, much, much happier.

I say that reluctantly, because every time I think I've got it sorted it falls apart again. I feel kind of like I'm trying to build a house of cards in a hurricane.

Anyway, once it's all said and done I'l try to be around more. Really.

Grumpy Today

I'm trying really hard to be as pleasant as possible while I'm stuck at work but honestly, I'm just not feeling it today.
Yesterday I had to go to the dentist, something I've been putting off for the better part of a decade. Two weeks ago I broke a large piece of one of my molars out and yesterday was the first time I could get in.
Let me pause here and say that my dentist is one of the world's nicest people and I really do like the guy. It's his job I don't like.
As always, the bitch who cleans your teeth was, well, a bitch. A seriously cunty bitch. She even gave me shit because I said "ow" when she stabbed my gum with her pick thing. Then she gave me shit for not flossing, right before getting the floss stuck on my broken tooth and trying to rip it out (which nearly took out the tooth completely). When I said "ow" again and "that really hurts" she snapped at me.
"Fine! You get it out then!"
What the fuck, bitch?
After that, the dentist had to freeze my mouth, drill out most of my tooth and fill it (which I get to again soon as there's another cavity he wants to deal with... sigh). The freezing I hate, it's damned uncomfortable, the needles suck and it makes my face feel huge. The dental work is a load of suck. On top of which I spent most of my evening popping pain killers, drinking cold water (it was helping numb the pain) and feeling gross.
Today my head feels like someone was kicking me in the face all night and as you may have guessed, it's making me a tad grumpy.
Stupid teeth.

Some Things I Wonder

I have a tiny obsession. Nothing to big or terrible. I mean, there are plenty of other obsessions I have, but this one is probably the longest standing obsession in my collection.

I love cartoons. I do. I love animated shorts, like the old WB cartoons. I love animated series like Spongebob Squarepants and the Simpsons. I love animated movies, both traditional and CG (Pixar has been on my "companies I'd LOVE to work for" list since the first time I saw Toy Story). And I love and adore stop motion animation. Hell, I have favourite voice actors. Really, I do.

But for all my love and adoration, for all the hours I've spent sitting in front of the TV watching and laughing, there are a few things I always wonder about. 

You know, because I'm a five year old trapped inside a cynical, bitter, sarcastic adult.

- How is it that Bugs and Elmer always seem to end up getting married? Really? I'm so not opposed to the gay aspect. No, it's that Bugs is a rabbit. Yeah, he's a talking rabbit but... he's still a rabbit. Even if he does look hot in a dress...

- Am I the only one who thinks Bugs looks hot in a dress? I don't understand it, but you take a scrawny, wise cracking, Brooklyn-accent having, male rabbit, put a dress and some lipstick on him and suddenly he's the hottest chick any gun toting, rabbit hating bad guy has ever seen. Weird.

- How is it possible that I've seen Wile E. Coyote smashed, blown up, flattened, dropped, tied up and generally thwarted by his own bad planning and ACME's subpar products in almost every way imaginable and it's STILL funny? 

- Am I the only one who thinks Tweety is an annoying little shit and is totally on Sylvester's side? 

- I've always wanted to know what Marc Anthony's owners look like. Kind of like the adults on Charlie Brown. I'd also like to smack them every time they wail on their dog. 

- Sam and Ralph punch in and out, I've heard Sam say "another day, another dollar", so what they do is their job but who's employing them? I understand hiring a sheepdog, but did they hire a wolf too? And it must be paying pretty well to have Ralph keep coming back. I mean, the benefits alone would have to be amazing. 

I dunno... maybe I'm thinking about these things too much.