I'm a terrible hostess. I know I am. It's not because I hate having people over or that I don't know anything about being a good hostess. It's just that I'm a lazy hostess which is something I've just learned to accept about myself.
My mother will spend hours scrubbing every nook and cranny of the house when she knows people are coming over. Even places guests wouldn't possibly see, like under the sink in the bathroom connected to her room. No guest is going to go in there, why scrub? She dusts the tops of the fan blades in the kitchen even when the fan is almost always on and no one is going to be inspecting the fucking fan. (I guess the moral of the story is, she's insane.) And my dad is just as bad. I can remember clearly being yelled at to clean my room because company was coming over. It seemed ridiculous to me as my bedroom door was always closed and no one without a death wish was going to come parading through to inspect how tidy my closet was. I guess I'm just not that worried about what people think about how I keep my house.
I'm also really bad for getting things for people. I don't know what it is. If I'm standing in the kitchen with someone and they ask if they can have a drink, I almost always point out that they are well aware of the location of both the glasses and the drinks. Help yourself. I think I've finally got most of my friends trained to just go get whatever it is that they want. That being said, I'm not impossibly bad about everything. If I make tea or coffee and I got to fill my cup, I always fill everyone else's cups first. If I'm getting something for myself I make a point of offering some to everyone.
I think most of my friends know by now that when they come over they really don't need to knock and wait for me to answer. If I'm at home and awake chances are terrifically good that the door is open. Just come in. All I ask is that you don't let the cats out.
So if you come over, and I'm always happy to have people over, the door is open, food and drink are in the fridge and pantry, dishes are in the cupboard and the bathroom is next to the kitchen. I'd say I'm sorry about the mess, but really I'm not.
6 comments:
I'm as insane as your mom. I don't clean IN the drawers, but I have this thing that everything has to be perfect.
One time, I set up our sci-fi movie night at one of our member's home. When we all showed up, there was cat hair all over the place, the house stunk of cat urine, and you DON'T want to know what the bathroom was like. OMG! I guess I am just a pride fanatic, and I want everythign to be perfect.
Now, don't get me wrong. If a friend is coming over, I will just pick up the house. But for parties, forget it. I have the maid come in, then I have to clean all the little things that she doesn't do. It makes life easier though.
Plus, I do what I call "ten minute round up" every evening and every morning (if I don't do it the night before). It's where I get everything back into its perfect place. I am single, so everything has a place, and if it's not there, I freak.
When I come to visit, don't worry, I'll just help myself.
Absurdist - You might want to brace yourself if you ever come over then.
Robin - I would expect nothing less.
I have a machine that washes my clothes, a machine that cleans my dishes and a machine that cleans my floors. With all that I have to be pretty lazy to have a messy house.
But the real question is, are you that lazy?
Sometimes.
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