Monday, March 30, 2009

The Buddy Syndrome

This is part rant and part public service announcement. You see, I'm here to inform you of a terrible affliction. For years comedians believed that it was only men who were affected. But I'm here to tell you folks, women suffer from this terrible fate as well. As a sufferer myself, I know.
The Buddy Syndrome.
I am one of the many people who seem to have been cursed to be "the buddy" forever. Almost every guy I meet or hang out with sees me as "just one of the guys" and for the most part I'm okay with that. It means I get let in on lots of things "the girls" don't. Unfortunately it also means I have a bunch of guy friends and all the new guys I meet become "friends"... are you seeing where I'm going with this? If you don't - guys, ask yourself, do you want to date any of the dudes you hang out with? Girls, go ask a guy if he'd date any of his buddies. See what I mean?
Really, I'm not desperate to find anyone to date. I just get frustrated every now and then when it's painfully clear that I've been completely lumped in with the guys and have been made completely undateable. How fun is that?
I really have no idea how it happens either. Actually, that part bothers me almost as much as the problem.
Anyone have any ideas?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Damn You, Rene Russo

How could you want to hurt this guy? Look at how amazing he is!

Anyone who knows me should know by now that I love Kevin Spacey. I do. It's true. So his movies get a special place in my heart too. But there's just one thing...
Why? Why does Kevin have to die? And so horribly? What the fuck is up with that? And the whole thing becomes even more frustrating when Rene Russo gets the cure just after Kevin dies. What the hell is that all about? Does anyone even like Rene Russo? Really?
I mean, I have to partly blame that on Dustin Hoffman and his need for a love interest. But Rene Russo? Over Kevin?
Can't we all just agree that Kevin should never, ever, ever die in any movie ever? Especially not in some horrible way and certainly not just before the cure is found to whatever horrible disease is killing him. Okay? Deal?

Sorry Guys, I Suck

I've been doing that thing again, haven't I? That thing where I don't post for a long time. I'm sorry.
Things have been super busy around here and to be honest, I've been in a really shitty head spac. This makes for less entertaining storys and interest in, well, everything.
Anyway, I'm going to try to post more soon. Really.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Today is my grandmother's birthday and despite the fact that she doesn't have a computer and that it would take me a while to even explain what a blog is exactly I'm going to wish her a happy birthday here. I did make her a cake, so you know, I'm not just going to wish her a happy birthday in the place she's least likely to find it.

And yesterday was Chico's birthday. Chico hasn't been around to celebrate in a long while, but all the same, Happy Birthday.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Spring Cleaning

Just a quick post to let you all know (because I know how much you really want to know) that I'm going to be cutting back a bit. Not here. Don't freak out.
Shit I Love and Shit I Hate have been sadly neglected for ages. They were fun when I started them but times have changed and now they're just sort of... well... there. So they're going.
I am adding a new addition to the family tho. Not a replacement. No. More like Charles for Frank, BJ for Trapper or Potter for Blake on M*A*S*H*. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you should be ashamed.)
Late Fines and Library Crimes will now be found in with the links for your viewing pleasure. We'll see how it goes from there.
For now, let's all take a moment of silence and remember our dearly departed blogs. We had some good times, parting is such sweet sorrow and what-not.


Friday, March 13, 2009

You Look Like An Idiot

And you sound like one too.
I've recently been reminded of one of my major peeves. Sloppy talk. I fucking hate people who speak sloppily.
Let's see if I can explain what I mean. Sloppy talk is when someone constantly sounds like they're drunk. When they slur their words together and fail to enunciate even the simplest of words. This is usually combined with too much aliva resulting in "drooly lips" and, for the record, that is just fucking gross. Learn to swallow, you freak.
Honest, this is something I've run in to more times than should be possible and these are ADULTS I'm talking about here. I'm not talking about people with some kind of physical of mental issue that would keep them from a normal speach pattern. These are adults who managed to make it all the way through childhood without learning to speak properly.
I find this incredibly annoying and frustrating. Listening to it irritates me. It's like nails on a chalkboard. If you can't even take the time to speak clearly, then why the hell am I listening to you? Chances are, if you're too lazy to talk, anything you do say won't be worth hearing.
This is clearly just one more sign that we are all doomed as a species.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Yeah, Yeah, Shut Up

Let me start out by saying I hate cell phones. Over all I think they're stupid and a major annoyance. I hate that people seem to have completely given up on any kind of cell phone etiquette. I hate "text spelling". All of it just gripes my ass something awful.
But for the last seven or eight years I have had a cell phone off and on. For the most part it was something I kept for emergencies and for the better part of that time I was on pay as you go. I didn't often hand out the number because half the time my phone was dead or out of minutes or whatever. And then suddenly I found that every one of my friends had gotten a phone. They also got in to the habit of texting. Bastards.
I used to get through a whole month on $20. Between my friends calling and texting and whatever, that jumped to more like $60. Yesterday I finally said "fuck it". I broke down and got myself a new cell phone plan and replaced my antique phone with a brand new Razr 2. (Jesus titty fucking Christ... "Razr"? Are they shitting me with this? What, they couldn't afford a vowel? Gah!)

This also mean, anyone reading this who has my cell number for whatever reason - my number has changed.

Oh, and on a completely unrelated note, Robin. is now listed as one of the authors here. I don't actually expect her to write anything as I've added her only because we've mutually decided to go on Death Watch for each other. Not that either of us is dying at the moment (well, technically we're all dying, aren't we?) but in the event that one of us gets hit by a bus or falls off a cliff or something, the other will notify everyone what happened.
We are a chipper couple aren't we?