Wednesday, February 06, 2008

I Shouldn't Be Left Alone

I don't know what it is lately, but in the last week it seems like whenever I'm around people I'm in a pretty good mood. This afternoon I made it through an entire car ride with my mother without feeling the urge to strangle the life out of her. Work has been good. Even the most trying person I had to deal with all week didn't faze me at all.
But as soon as I'm home alone it all goes to shit. I fall into a really horribly shitty mood. I'm not angry or sad or anything. I just feel like shit. I think the closest thing to how I feel is a general sense of malaise.
I'm sure a big part of it is that I have entirely too much time to think. I know better than anyone that it's not a good thing. When I sit around thinking about everything I end up working myself into, well, this. But I'm really struggling with a way out of the cycle. I'm broke so I stay home and end up thinking about being broke which makes me feel like shit. So I try thinking about ways to not be broke which ends up making me feel hopeless (don't ask why, I don't know). Gah... Stupid brain! Shut up!
Anyway, I feel like shit.
*sigh*

8 comments:

Janna said...

Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I feel the same way, a lot of the time.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Would it help if I came up there and let you sodomize me?

Avitable said...

I'm the other way around. I'm in a better mood when I'm alone.

Robin said...

Being alone isn't good...I think too much too. You need to move to Massachusetts and move in with Erik and I. We've been meaning to get into polygamy.

The Absurdist said...

You can alway count on Fab to minimize your problem. Fab, shame on you! And you know you should ALWAYS stipulate the size of the dildo with which you will be sodomized. Always the fine print, my man, always the fine print.

I am at home for five to six days at a time. It's getting to me too. I really understand. I am still tyring to find a job, and Dell is still shuffling me around trying to find the right place for me. I feel you.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Janna - I'm terribly sorry. No one should ever be a lot like me.

Fab - That would definitely help.

Adam - You could become a hermit.

Robin - Sounds good to me.

Absurdist - Don't mention the size thing right now. I've got him all blissfully unaware.

Janna said...

No, really. I've been meaning to decorate the living room with coffins and skulls any day now.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Well if you need help with that, I can point you in the right direction.