Monday, July 31, 2006

Well, I'm grossed out

At my house we go through enough soy sauce that this story grossed me out completely.
So I thought I'd share with all of you. I'm just such a giving person.

Another glorious day in Hollywood

I always love hearing about major Hollywood stars getting bitch slapped by life, not to mention the police.
Mel Gibson was picked up and arrested for DUI on Friday morning. He had some interesting things to say to the arresting officers, and lucky for all of us, his comments made in on to the internet.

Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me." The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?" The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?" A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

Way to go Mel. That's awesome. From what I hear, calling cops "sugar tits" and crapping on an entire group of people is the best way to get the police to let you go. Unfortunately the "douche bag gambit" didn't work out so well for our dear Mel.
Check out the whole story here.

Friday, July 28, 2006


I hate Lindsay Lohan, a lot. It's gotten to the point where I want to scream every time I see yet another artical about her. That is, until now.
This is the kind of artical I'd like to see more of. Not even just about ol' fire crotch, about a lot "actors". They pay these assholes huge sums of money. Is it too much to ask that they do their fucking jobs?
Fucking wankers.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

See, less disturbing....

Well, kinda. Less disturbing that the dismembered thumb drive anyway.
Another item for my christmas list.

Sieg Meow

I found this site through Jason's incredibly lame blog the other day and I had to share, because damn it's funny.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Happy Birthday lil' Bro

It's my brother's birthday today. He's 20. That's terrifying.
Happy Birthday Dude! Try not to do anything that will get you arrested.
In honor of this day, here's a really weird ass German metal band cover, enjoy!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I hear it's lovely there in summer

So I think I know where I'd like to spend my next vacation. I mean, if I had money to fly myself to the Czech Republic, could find my way to Sedlec and secure a translator as I speak not a word of Czech or even Slovak.
Seriously though, I have a bit of a fascination with death, some of the more astute readers may have noticed that already. Don't ask me where it comes from, I really don't know.
The history of death is really quite interesting and this place is a monument to the weirdness and morbid tastes of days gone by.
Click here for more information on the history of Kutna Hora.

*Sorry Sarah, I'll try to make my next post less... disturbing.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Is it wrong that I want one?

And they're only $200!
Oh yes, it's a skin bag!

*Update: I also want one of these.

I have no words for this

I've been through the whole collection, it's terrifying, it's hilarious, it's a museum of bad album covers, it's a must see.
Here's a preview (the guy who runs the site has some of the best comments I've read in a long time).

Things I notice

Every now and again I notice things. Just little things that bug me, keep me up at night, keep me wondering why.
Here are some of them.

- There seems to be a serious decline in the popularity of the name Fred, especially within Asian communities.

- I've never seen an asian person (I'm not trying to pick on anyone here) with a scottish accent. I'm sure they exist, I've just never seen one. I find this perplexing.

- When I get a head ache I sneeze, a lot, for no apparent reason.

- People seem to be more willing to look like an ass, asking stupid questions then to read the sign they're standing next to that clearly explains everything.

-Dogs are like children, cats are like drag queens. (I personally own a bitchy old queen and a Miss Thang)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

From me to you 14

Just a short one this time folks, though every point is an important one.

- You're not really speaking ill of someone until you've wished herpes on their face and called them names that you'll never find in the dictionary.

- Jelly Beans are not a meal replacement

- If it looks like a crazy guy, talks like a crazy guy, chances are it's gonna smell like a crazy guy.

- All your base are belong to us.

You mean he's not dead yet?

I was scanning Yahoo news this morning and I came across this most interesting artical. Now I find myself pondering, why the hell is this making the news? And more importantly, Jerry Springer is still around? What the shit?

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Dr. Bennett's strange bedside manner

I found this earlier today. I'm left shaking my head wondering if this guy is for real.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Google me impressed

Apparently I'm the #1 hit when searching "removed rib to suck own cock".
This is a proud moment in Kill The Body history.

Wow. Just wow.

This is either the best or worst idea ever. I can't decide which. I just know that I want one because it made me laugh so hard.
For the nerd in your life.

Monday, July 03, 2006

From me to you 13

Yeah, yeah, I know. I haven't posted in a while. So sue me. I do have a life away from my computer, contrary to popular belief.
Anyway, on to lucky #13...

- If you work at a computer help desk, telling people you've never seen a Mac in your life doesn't instill a lot of confidence. I'm also left wondering how it could be possible that you've NEVER seen a Mac in your entire life. What rock did you crawl out from under exactly? And it's nice to know that they've made sure to outfit the undersides of rocks with PCs but haven't gotten around to mentioning Macs. Dipshit.

- If you're grumpy because you're tired, go take a fucking nap and get the hell away from me. I don't need an excuse, I'm always like this.

- Don't ask me not to park in front of your house and then park in front of mine, asshole.

- Putting a fan at the end of your bed may not be such a good idea. It just ends up blowing farts back in your face, which may almost be worse than a Dutch oven.

- You're not allowed to laugh and then be disgusted. It's too late, you already laughed.