Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's my birthday. Hazzah!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Oh Steve, You Sexy Bitch You

Steve-o informed me this evening that he's gotten himself veneers and when I told him all I could think of was the guy from Something About Mary he sent me a picture as proof that it was not so. He also pointed out that his Dad took the picture and he's not just some incredibly sad person who takes pictures of himself to put up on his MySpace.
I told him I like the casual look he's going for. It says "I'm cool but not too cool". He pointed out that it was a rather casual setting. I had noticed, the blanket gave it away. It says "I'm not tired, just cold", which may or may not have something to do with his being so cool.
Then he sent me this picture.

He said he found the sign and letters at work and took them home. Now this is what's hanging in his basement.
Sorry Steve-o, now the world knows what a perverted weirdo you really are.
That's what you get for mocking my connection speed.

Return Of The Prodigal Cousin

G is moving back for the summer! Hoorah! And he's gonna be back in time for my birthday! Again hoorah!

I'll Start Building The Shrine Now

For ages gas prices have been high. But for a while it seemed to have leveled off, even dropped a bit. A lovely 96.9. Oh yes, I remember the days. People frolicked in the streets, which of course were paved with gold. All was well in the world. And then, it all fell apart. Somehow we failed. We angered our Gassy Gods.
Gas jumped to 120.9 in one afternoon.
What had we done? Should we start sacrificing virgins? Killing the heathens? What, oh Gassy Lords, what must we do?
And then it jumped again 125.9.
Virgins were tossed into volcanoes, heathens slaughtered, the sacred "gas dance" performed.
Finally today a break in the gloom. 121.9. The Gassy Gods have smiled on us again. Dropped by 4 cents! Praise them! We will build a shrine to their greatness, to their boundless mercy. (And with that four cents momma will finally be able to afford that operation.) What a glorious day it is.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Jack Klugman, You're My Hero

Three days ago I picked up a copy of Quincy M.E. season 1 & 2. Since then I've only spent brief moments away from my TV between episodes. I had almost forgotten how much I love this show. And Jack Klugman.
Although I must say, after years of CSI it's really amusing watching how things used to be done. (It also makes me laugh that people bitch and moan about how far fetched some of the CSI stuff gets. They're obviously not Quincy fans.) When I sat down to watch the first episode, Quicy was talking about a suspect's blood type and I actually caught myself thinking "Blod type? What the hell is he talking about? Just run a DNA test. Duh." Then it hit me. It was the 70's... no DNA. Damn. What would Grissom do?
I love CSI and I love Grissom (coming second only to my love for Jim Brass), but there will always be a special place in my heart for Quincy.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Spatula City

When I was still living with my parents my brother and I were watching UHF. My dad walked in just at this part of the movie, watched this clip, looked at me and asked where the hell "Spatula City" is located.
We still tease him about that one.

UHF Conan The Librarian

I always liked this clip a whole lot. Now that I work at the library, it's a whole lot funnier.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Birthday Mr. Carlin

I just want to take a second to say happy birthday Mr. Carlin. Hope it was a good one and wishing you many more. We love you, a whole bunch.
And if you haven't seen it already, here are some of his best.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Best. Pilllow. Ever.

I found this pillow earlier today over at Kropserkel. I really, really need to get one of these.

Jay, I'm Not Stealing Your Idea *edit*

This post has been removed. Not because I gave my head a shake. Not because I came to some great revelation as the result of an anonymous commenter.
It's been removed because I'm not in the fucking mood to try and explain to the stupid fucks out there that there's a lot of shit I don't post here. That this is the place where I come to rant and rave about stupid shit that doesn't matter. That I do this for me, not you. Because I need somewhere to vent and keep myself half way sane.
So fuck you guys.
Fuck you all.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Drink the Kool-aid And Join The Cult

Trust me, you'll like it.
I've finally taken Steve's advice and checked out Cloud Cult. Seriously, the only thing I'm disappointed in is myself for not having done it sooner.
I don't think I could love Lucky Day any more without breaking several laws. And Pretty Voice is so awesome I could cry.
Just check them out already and stop wasting time in your Cloud Cult-less existence.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Good Thing They Didn't Overreact

Looks like we've managed to fool the Americans in to believing that these coins are completely harmless commemorative coins and not spy coins. And it came pretty damned close to them figuring out the truth too. One guy even noticed the "nano-technology" worked into the terribly clever "poppy" camouflage. We need to start being more careful.
Next thing you know, they're going to realize that we only give the hilarious Monopoly money to tourists and that CBC actually stands for Commies Bloody Commies.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

I Really Need To Win The Lottery

Fishs Eddy has some of the best dishes I've ever seen. I'm gonna need to start buying Lotto tickets by the handful so I can win enough to buy them all. Though my birthday is coming up soon, so if anyone wants to buy me some... you know.... I'd be okay with that. I really like these and these and these.

Well At Least I Get To Use My New Favourite Insult

A while back we had to do these job evaluation questionnaires. They were stressful as hell and in short, made me very grumpy. We basically had to explain our jobs and what we do. The JE comittee went over them and sent back their report on what they think we do, what level our job is, etc.
Today we went to a meeting to discuss their ruling and ask questions. The JE committee was there along with their HR consultant. All was going well until I started asking questions. And I know what you're thinking, but I have witnesses and they will all tell you that I was civil, my questions were appropriate and at the right times. Honest.
The problem was the HR consultant. Despite asking repeatedly if anyone had questions, anyone (myself very included) were cut off, snapped at, shot down and belittled. She was rude, snippy, condescending and an out-right bitch. She all but said that we are the least important people in the library. That we're glorified chimps.
I didn't get through one question without her cutting me off, to the point where other members of the JE committee cut her off to get her to let me finish.
I've had the same bullshit, dead end job for three years. I make barely enough to live on. But still, anyone asks me about my job I can honestly say I love it. I love my job and the people I work with. Today, today was different.
For the first time in three years, I hate my job.
All the things I do above and beyond what they're telling me I do, what they're paying me to do, my basic job, I'm not willing to do any more. Any bullshit jobs people making more money that me "don't have time to do", well that's just too bad. You can all suck my ass. Do your own fucking job. JE tells me that it isn't my job, I'm not fucking doing it.
I swear to fucking Christ, anyone comes to me and tells me that ref sent them over to me to ask where something is will be asked which ref staff said it and be taken back to the ref desk where I will promptly explain that they should get off their fucking ass and do their fucking job. I'm not paid to pick up the fucking slack from anyone. They want me to do ref work, they can pay me ref wages.
You want me to just be your fucking super chimp? Fine. That's exactly what you'll get. I'll try not to drool on the books while I just randomly shove them on to the shelves.
You cock gobbling thunder cunt.