Wait... You Did What!?

Keith Richards is officially no longer human. Actually the jury's still out on whether or not he ever was, and I have to say that it's not looking good for him. I can't even think of anything to call him that wouldn't insult everyone else in that group. He defies description.
In a recent interview he had this to say:

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort?" the Sun quoted Richards as saying in its early Wednesday edition. "My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared. It went down pretty well and I'm still alive."

Now as mind boggling as that is, I have to admit I'm impressed he said anything. Anything the interviewer could understand anyway. Is it just me, or is he even trying to speak english any more? I'm pretty sure it's just a series of mumbles, grunts and his disgusting raspy smoker's laugh.

*update* Though I'm not surprised to hear that this is a joke (remember that I said I was impressed he had said, you know, words... that people could understand...) I'm still pretty sure Keith Richards is not human.

Good Luck

I know I've been taking a lot of potshots at celebrities lately, but this one I'm not going to joke about. Mostly because I actually feel bad for the guy.
Apparently Robin Williams entered rehab seeking treatment for alcoholism.
It's a shame really, he'd gone so long without all that shit. It's always terrible when people fall back into addiction.
And I know that I've been making fun of Mel Gibson for doing, essentially, the same damned thing.
The difference?
Robin Williams didn't make the decision after getting caught drinking and driving, fighting with the cops, showing himself as a bigoted, egotistic ass hat and blaming the whole thing on being drunk. That sort of douche baggery gets you made fun of and generally shit on, where as recognizing you have a problem and making a private decision to better yourself gets you understanding and wishes for good luck.

Another glorious day in Hollywood

I always love hearing about major Hollywood stars getting bitch slapped by life, not to mention the police.
Mel Gibson was picked up and arrested for DUI on Friday morning. He had some interesting things to say to the arresting officers, and lucky for all of us, his comments made in on to the internet.

Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me." The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?" The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?" A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

Way to go Mel. That's awesome. From what I hear, calling cops "sugar tits" and crapping on an entire group of people is the best way to get the police to let you go. Unfortunately the "douche bag gambit" didn't work out so well for our dear Mel.
Check out the whole story here.

POW!

I hate Lindsay Lohan, a lot. It's gotten to the point where I want to scream every time I see yet another artical about her. That is, until now.
This is the kind of artical I'd like to see more of. Not even just about ol' fire crotch, about a lot "actors". They pay these assholes huge sums of money. Is it too much to ask that they do their fucking jobs?
Fucking wankers.