Wednesday, September 27, 2006


So I'm stuck at work, and the radio's on. I'm not a fan of the radio to begin with, but it breaks up the boredom a little. (Unless this is Sarah, in which case - ignore most of that.) But the radio is tuned to Z99.
I think I prefer the sound of cats in heat to this fucking station.
Just now they're playing Wham. Seriously. Wake me up before you go go. Jesus.
And all I can think is "Orange Mocha Frappuccino!"

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Joke of the Week

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Highlight here ---> Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Jessica is leaving the library to go to a branch. The jerk.
I hope you don't think that this means you'll be rid of me!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It Be Talk Like A Pirate Day

Sept. 19 be international talk like a pirate day, yeh scurvy dogs. So have a bit o' grog, swab the deck and walk the plank.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Seriously, What The Hell Is The Matter With You?

So I'm at home, chatting with my cousin (who just moved away and who I haven't seen in a month) and working on my personal shit. Naiomi is in the shower (That's right gents, naked and wet). She left her cell on the coffee table, like she always does, and while I'm chatting away I hear it ring (the ringer's kinda loud, so it's pretty hard to miss), but I'm busy so I let it ring. She's got call display and I'm not too worried about it.
Here's where I get annoyed.
It keeps ringing and ringing and ringing. Then stops. They figured out I'm not going to answer. About three seconds later it starts ringing again. This happens a total of five times before I finally get pissed and answer it.
The dipshit, who I don't like to begin with, laughs and says she was just going to keep calling until someone answered and told her where Naioni is.
Who calls five time in a row and lets it ring!? If no one's answering then they're busy, not around or don't want to talk to you. How fucking stupid do you have to be to figure this one out?
Jesus Christ on crutches! I hate people.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Somebody's Been A Baaaad Boy

Here's another amusing news report.
My favourite line in the whole thing, hands down, because he used it as his wife.

Crazy Cat Lady

No, not me - Naiomi. I think she's finally cracked.
Yesterday I'm lying on the couch. Both cats are lying by the front door. Naiomi walks past me and into the kitchen and to the bathroom... this is what I hear:

Naiomi: Meow!

And I'm thinking what the hell is she doing? Neither of the cats are in the kitchen. And then she comes out with this:

Naiomi: I think I'm retarded!

Me: Why?

Naiomi: I just meowed at the picture of the cat of the side of the box of litter.

At that point I just laughed, hysterically.

Naiomi: And you were wondering what the hell I was doing, weren't you? Because the cats are right there!

Me: Yeah. (laugh some more)

Her response?

Naiomi: What, you don't say hello to pictures of people?

Yep, she's lost her mind.
It took me a whole year, but I've driven her over the edge.

The Cute Planet

I found this news report earlier today. It's not supposed to be humorous, but I find something very funny about a planet being referred to as fluffy.
They could make HAT-P-1 plush toys. And after that, they should definitely come up with a cuter name, like Snookums. That's right, planet Snookums.
Imagine being attacked by aliens from the planet Snookums. You'd never be able to take them seriously. They'd be all "We come to conquer your planet for the Snookums empire!" and everyone would just laugh and be all "Yeah right! Snookums! Hahaha!" And then they'd probably kill everyone who laughed and take the rest as slaves, slaves of the Snookums empire.
It probably wouldn't sound so damned cute after that.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Germans Are Weird

I don't even know how I found this site in the first place, but it is certainly home to some of the strangest products I've ever seen.
I think I want the stain/pot holder.


I've switched Kill The Body to beta.
If you're having trouble posting try posting under "other". This seems like it's only happening with people who have blogger accounts who haven't switched to beta. Please let me know if there are any other problems.