Tuesday, February 28, 2006

More reasons to stay single.

Sweet Jesus. I've read this 4 times already and I still can't believe it.
Hey Honey, can I get you to sign this? Thanks.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

From me to you 10

If you leave vegetables in the crisper for long enough, even the crisper won't be able to keep them crispy. In fact, if you leave them there long enough they'll turn into liquid. I don't mean the "Juice Tiger", Jack Lalanne, good for you, wow this is delicious, kind of liquid either. I mean the Oh my God, what the hell was that, where are the guys in the Haz-Mat suits, kind of liquid.

-53 with the wind chill is fucking cold, but if you live in Canada they still won't cancel work or school. They'll tell you to dress real warm and not to lick any frozen metal.

Frozen metal will rip off layers of skin.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Check please!

If you haven't seen it already, Waiter Rant is an amazing blog that I've recently fallen in love with.
Give it a read, even if you're not in food service.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Monday, February 13, 2006

From me to you 9

I've caught some god awful illness from somewhere, so I've been sick for the last couple of days. It's made me grumpy, among other things. (Who am I trying to kid? I don't need an excuse to be grumpy.) I've also been reminded of a few things I could have done without, really. For instance:

Day time television sucks. It sucks a lot. It sucks enough to make me wish I wasn't sick so I could go to work.
Who are the mental midgets putting together this line up? A better question really is who are the mental midgets watching this shit?
They can't possibly all be people home sick from work, who are to sick to care much what's on TV as they lay in a NyQuil induced coma, surrounded by a box worth of crusty used tissue and drooling while Montel hands the mic over to yet another woman who thinks "you need to drop that zero and get yourself a hero", while Sally sends yet another group of juvenile delinquents (who would make damned good poster children for Pro-Choice) to boot camp with Maj. Asshole, while (God help us) Maury reads out the results of yet another paternity test as the nation waits in suspense to find out if Billy-Joe is really little Bubba's father.
Even if you manage to shake the green haze long enough to change the channel you end up caught in the seventh circle of hell that is the "Soap Opera". A creation so foul it was surely birthed from the loins of the devil himself, raised on a diet of painfully bad acting, incomprehensible plots, and the flakiest scripts known to man, then spat forth from the very bowels of hell to inflict torture on innocent viewers everywhere.
So long story short - I've spent most of this sick time reading.

And in conclusion...

I can't tell you how much I'd like to strangle the life out of all these goddamned wastes of skin who fill the internet with their goddamned chat slang. Write out the word you asshole.
How much time do you think you're saving by typing "newayz" instead of just writing "anyway"? Is it really that taxing on your peabrain to write out "people" that you need to shorten it to "ppl"? How hard is it to type out Christina or Christians that you needed to shorten it to "Xtina" and "Xtians"?
You don't look cute or cool, you look like an illiterate douche bag.
English is being destroyed by morons.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Good bye Grandpa Munster.

Al Lewis passed away yesterday at the age of 95.

Saturday, February 04, 2006


I have no words to decribe this.... none... but it will haunt me in my dreams forever.


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Happy Birthday (Part two)

It's Naiomi's Birthday! Woot!
Happy Birthday lady!