Sunday, January 20, 2008

There Needs To Be A Better Name For It

"Second cousin" just seems like such a crappy title. There has got to be something better. What am I talking about, you ask? I finally met the latest addition to the family. Little baby Data. I have to say though, I think someone at the hospital fucked up. The kid is not only TINY but also lacks any kind of tail, third eye, parasitic twin, abnormal body hair, etc. that one would expect from the spawn of Jay. However, she does do a pretty wicked impression of an old man.
We came to an understanding and so long as she holds up her end of the deal, I think we'll get along fine. I will continue to hold her in exchange for her continuing to not scream at me or projectile vomit on me. She is free to do either of those things to Jay, with all the force and vigor she can muster. But not me.
I also fully intend to teach her bad words, rude faces and to fill her full of sugar when no one is looking. Because, after all, what else is family for?
What's that? Not all family does that? Just me huh?
Okay, I can deal with that.
Now I just have to make the other two Star Trek uniforms.

4 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

And if it doesn't work out, you've got the perfect size coffin for her...

Robin said...

I need to make an agreement with all the babies I know.

Bluepaintred said...

awwww how cute! New babies are always SO gullible. You can get them to agree to anything!

Gwenhwyfar said...

Fab - I'm always three steps ahead.

Robin - You should, it takes so much of the pressure off.

Blue - I know! Especially when they're at that age where you control the giving of food.