I love cartoons. I do. I love animated shorts, like the old WB cartoons. I love animated series like Spongebob Squarepants and the Simpsons. I love animated movies, both traditional and CG (Pixar has been on my "companies I'd LOVE to work for" list since the first time I saw Toy Story). And I love and adore stop motion animation. Hell, I have favourite voice actors. Really, I do.
But for all my love and adoration, for all the hours I've spent sitting in front of the TV watching and laughing, there are a few things I always wonder about.
You know, because I'm a five year old trapped inside a cynical, bitter, sarcastic adult.
- How is it that Bugs and Elmer always seem to end up getting married? Really? I'm so not opposed to the gay aspect. No, it's that Bugs is a rabbit. Yeah, he's a talking rabbit but... he's still a rabbit. Even if he does look hot in a dress...
- Am I the only one who thinks Bugs looks hot in a dress? I don't understand it, but you take a scrawny, wise cracking, Brooklyn-accent having, male rabbit, put a dress and some lipstick on him and suddenly he's the hottest chick any gun toting, rabbit hating bad guy has ever seen. Weird.
- How is it possible that I've seen Wile E. Coyote smashed, blown up, flattened, dropped, tied up and generally thwarted by his own bad planning and ACME's subpar products in almost every way imaginable and it's STILL funny?
- Am I the only one who thinks Tweety is an annoying little shit and is totally on Sylvester's side?
- I've always wanted to know what Marc Anthony's owners look like. Kind of like the adults on Charlie Brown. I'd also like to smack them every time they wail on their dog.
- Sam and Ralph punch in and out, I've heard Sam say "another day, another dollar", so what they do is their job but who's employing them? I understand hiring a sheepdog, but did they hire a wolf too? And it must be paying pretty well to have Ralph keep coming back. I mean, the benefits alone would have to be amazing.
I dunno... maybe I'm thinking about these things too much.