Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Someone Needs To Check Your Dosage

Two weeks ago I started a new job at one of the local CD/DVD stores, which is super cool and all. But this store happens to be located right by a Tim Horton's (Timmy's, Tim's, Timmy Ho's, The Horton, whatever you want to call it - only real Canadians get it) and mostly because of the nearness of it I've been there nearly every day I've worked my new job.
Now as much as I hate to admit it because I know how fucking lazy it is, I normally just drive over (it's normally fast and a fuck of a lot easier when I'm also picking up orders for two or three other people - besides, fuck you). There seems to be a few people who work the Tim's drive-thru regularly so I've gotten to recognize them. One in particular is Jade.
Oh, Jade...
It all began last week when I pulled up to the drive-thru, ordered my carrot-wheat muffin and extra large steeped tea with three sugars and handed Jade my debit card (I don't often carry real money, so sue me) and she went all Leeroy Jenkins on me. "DEBIIIIIIIIIIT!?" She actually shouted it out the window. This was even more amusing because Jade happens to be a rather petit asian woman. I seriously though my eye balls were going to pop right out of my head from stifling my laugh. It was just so fucking insane and hilarious. But I figured she was just in a weird mood.
Then the yesterday one of the girls from work (let's call her "Amber") and I decided we needed to make a run to Tim's. So we hopped in the car (see, she's lazy too) and headed over. When we got to the order box, some crusty Tim's bitch who informed me that their debit was down so there was nothing they could do for me. So me and Amber drove to shoppers and I got some cash, then back to Tim's.
This time around there's not a word about the debit being down, which is fucking stupid as we'd only been gone five minutes. But whatever, I was hungry, in need of tea and Amber was getting antsy. So I start my order...
"I'd like an extra large steeped tea and two hashbrowns..." but Tim's bitch cuts me off.
"We stopped serving breakfast."
Oh my, you're right. It's two minutes after 11 because I had to drive to shoppers to get cash because your debit was down. Amber scrambles to pick something else.
"Okay, then give me a raspberry doughnut..." Tim's bitch cuts me off again.
"Raspberry filled?"
"Yes please."
"That's everything?"
"No, I also need a chocolate milk and a carrot muffin."
She barks the price at me and I drive up to the window while Amber and I laugh about how crusty the help is getting. Jade is waiting. "We're out of carrot muffins, would you like something else?"
Damnit. I wanted a muffin. But I'm too hungry to be pouty. "Um, I guess I'll have a whole wheat bagel then."
Amber suddenly has an attack of buyer's remorse and changes her mind about the doughnut. "And can I switch the doughnut to a chocolate chip muffin?"
Jade goes to get the new order. Amber and I chat and joke around while she's gone. She comes back to tell us they're out of chocolate chip muffins. By this time the whole trip has become such an ordeal that we're cracking up.
"Can I just have a raspberry muffin then?"
"That's your final order then? No more changes?" Jade asks, getting huffy.
"Yeah, that's perfect."
Jade comes back with the muffin, chocolate milk and my tea.
"Can I have three sugars and an extra cup please?"
The window slams shut and Amber makes some comment that has us both laughing (it was in regards to being honked at in a drive-thru). When Jade pokes her head out again we're still laughing.
"You guys are having enough fun then!" She snaps and THROWS two packets of sugar at me.
I kind of sat there, stunned and then Amber speaks up "Did she just throw sugar at you?" Which just makes me laugh.
"I still need my bagel!" I call to Jade. Finally she comes back and shoves the bagel in to my hands.
We drove off and as we're pulling up at work Amber looks at me and says "You asked for three sugars, didn't you? And did she give you a stir stick?"
"I have a sugar packet in my purse and there is no way in hell I'm going back to ask for a stir stick. I'm pretty sure she'd kill me."


Bluepaintred said...

you know, one of the biggest problems I am dealing with, having pneumonia, is making sure I keep my bladder empty in case I cough. See, when I cough, its not a *coughcough* kind of thing, But this huge production which includes the cracking of my ribs from the shear force of the shaking that violently wracks my torso as I cough.

Today I learned that you can laugh in the same manner, and that just becuase you feel a bit better, does not mean you should sit down to read blogs with a partially full bladder. EVER.AGAIN.

Thanks a lot! these were my last clean pants

Gwenhwyfar said...

Blue, do you happen to work at the Tim's in the east end where you go by the name "Jade"?

Bluepaintred said...

*looks around for a place to hide the body*

Uhm. No. Why do you ask?

Gwenhwyfar said...