Thursday, November 22, 2007

Dear Bitch,

How's it going? Good? That's nice. Me? Oh, I could be better. You see I was standing behind your friend in line at the coffee shop earlier. As were a lot of other people. That's right, that group of people stretching from the counter to the door, it was a line.
That's typically how this kind of situation works. People come in and wait to be served in the order they arrived. You start at the back of the line and work your way to the front. Just like everyone else.
Do you see the step you skipped? The waiting part? You know, like when you came in, brushed passed everyone else in line and headed right for the spot near the front, with your friend. And I'd love to believe that you are completely ignorant of this process, but your friend was as fidgety as a speed freak which is a pretty good indication that she knew what she was doing. Innocent people don't get like that. (That and she didn't order anything, you did. Which was really cute by the way.)
You're tall and thin and blond and pretty, I know. You're used to getting what you want and judging from you attire, paying too much for it. But somehow that still doesn't make you any more important than me or anyone else.
The next time you pull that kind of inconsiderate, school yard bullshit I'm going to snap you in half like a twig. Okay?
Thanks in advance for your consideration.
Always nice chatting with you.


Ask said...

Your anger, she is palpable. Capable of being palped. Palpet. Pulpet. Puppies! Kittens. Kitchens. Lichens. Liches. Leeches. Beeches. Beaches. Bitches. And we're back round to the topic of the story!

See, everything is all right.

How come you are never on IMternets? Sadface.

Gwenhwyfar said...

hahahaha... nice.
I am on, you're the one who's never on! What's the deal?

Anonymous said...

When I fist popped over to your blog and saw the Dear Bitch I thought..."How the hell did they know I was coming?"

Then the more I read I knew you weren't talking about me and well, I was kinda hurt.

Gwenhwyfar said...

I'm sorry darling, it's so hard with so many bitches out there. I suppose I should have said "Dear Line-cutting Bitch" or "Hey Bitch who's getting between be and my coffee".
I'll try and get you next time.

Ask said...

I'm always online like some kind of nerdy nerd geek. Maybe it is timezones. Are you sure you're online on your moira account?

Gwenhwyfar said...

I am, but I'm usually on at night.

Ask said...

I guess a 6 hour time difference will do that then.

Mr. Fabulous said...

People come in and wait to be severed in the order they arrived.

Wow. That is a TOUGH policy.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Hahahaha... I totally didn't catch that. I'm so lucky to have you here to point out my mistakes.