Thursday, November 01, 2007

Deadly Sin Or Just The Sin Of Tasting Like Shit?

It's not often that I'm one for product endorsement, especially since I'm not a celebrity and no one is paying me millions to say their stuff doesn't suck. But if something is really, really awesome I like to spread the word. More people buy something, the more likely it is that I'll be able to find it easily and won't have to worry about them pulling the product or the company going under. So it's win-win really.
That being said... awhile ago I discovered Oral Fixation Mints. The box caught my attention first (I'm such a design whore. If something looks cool I'm about 90% more likely to buy it.) and the flavours seemed interesting. So I bought a couple of different kinds. (I'm also a terrible impulse shopper. If they kept everything in neato packaging right next the the cashier I would be broke and homeless in a matter of days.) I got the Mojito Mint, the Antioximints (green tea flavoured) and the 7 Deadly Cinnamon.
The Mojito mints were really tasty, just nicely lime flavoured and not painfully strong. The Antioximints were a serious winner. One of the best tasting mints I've had in a long time. And then... then I got to the cinnamon.
Honestly, of all the flavours I could have chosen from I don't know why I picked them up. I've always had a bit of a turbulent relationship with "cinnamon flavoured" anything. I take exception to the fact that "cinnamon flavour" tastes nothing like cinnamon. And I'd really like to know what chimp of a taste tester ever thought that what ever the hell that taste is is even remotely close to cinnamon.
But I digress. The 7 Deadly Cinnamon mints are in a whole league of their own when it comes to all things cinnamon flavoured.
At this point you may mistakenly think I'm about to say something good about them. You are very, very wrong.
These are absolutely the worst mints/candies, cinnamon flavoured or not, that I have ever had ever. Sweet titty fucking Christ, I still can't even wrap my mind around the horror held within such a tiny candy.
Honestly, I would take any "cinnamon flavouring" over whatever the hell these things are. They don't even taste like the usual chemical spiciness that I had expected. Although I did know that taste. I knew it the moment that piece of evil touched my tongue.
Stomach acid.
I'm sure everyone has, at one time or another, tasted it at the back of their throat. That horrible acid burn accompanied by that bitter nasty taste. Left over after puking, creeping up with some nasty heartburn, you know what I mean. That taste. The candies taste like that.
And then subtly, just beneath that god awful taste there is a hint of chemical spiciness faux-cinnamon.
Great. They've manages to mix two of the worlds worst tastes into one disgusting piece of nastiness. Like puking after eating a handful of cinnamon hearts.
So I'm begging Oral Fixation, please for all our sakes, could you do something about this? All your other mints are so darn good. But these taste like they were shat forth from the very bowels of hell. Could you at very least make them just taste like every other faux-cinnamon product?
Thanks! I'd really appreciate that.


Mr. Fabulous said...

Yup. You really do say "Jesus Titty Fucking Christ"

Gwenhwyfar said...

More than anyone probably should, Mr. Fab.