1. G rated, animated, kids movies are for kids. Anything PG13 or over is for adults. That means if I go to see an action flick with guns and killing and explosions and helicopter crashes, I shouldn't have to listen to your fucking baby screeching through the entire fucking film. If your kid isn't old enough to behave itself through an entire movie I suggest you start waiting until movies come out on DVD or invest in a fucking babysitter.
2. I actually like to watch the previews but I understand not everyone does so I'll put up with you talking through them. That being said, if you think that it's acceptable to sit and chat with the person next to you, you're going to end up in a lot of pain. That sharp pain in your head will probably be from my foot connecting with it repeatedly until you shut the fuck up.
3. I'm also one of those people who likes to watch the credits. Again, I know not everyone does and that is fine, leave. But either leave or sit the fuck down. If you stand up in front of me and stay there for any length of time I will quickly run out of the will power to not shove you over the seats.
4. Believe me when I say that you are capable of going two hours without looking at, answering or playing with your phone. Turn it off, dipshit. Even if you're not on the phone, taking the fucking thing out and lighting up half the theatre just to assure yourself that it hasn't run away is fucking distracting. If you feel like you're not capable of this, I'll happily shove that fucking thing up your ass to save you having to worry about it.
5. I know you think you're a cinematic genius and I'm sure that your opinion is really interesting but unless your name is Crow, Tom Servo, Mike Nelson or Joel Robinson there is no way in hell I should be listening to your running commentary on every fucking second of the movie.