Dear Stomach,

Hi, it's me. Listen, we need to talk. I know we're not always on the best terms, you and I. I know I like to eat a lot of weird food that you're sometimes not crazy about and there are days when you're not exactly cooperative and I really needed you to be on your best behaviour. We have our ups and downs but I had hoped that we might be made stronger by it. I mean, at very least, I had hoped that we could find some middle ground. So I thought we should talk before this goes any further. Maybe we can salvage something.
I know that I haven't exactly picked the easiest life-style. I know that I create a lot of worries I don't need to. I know, really I do. And I'm sorry. I know that it's hard on you when shit gets crazy. But that's what I need to talk to you about. I'm trying really hard to be strong about a lot of things despite what people might think and I need your help.
As much as I would love to have my very own ulcer this summer, I'm afraid I just haven't got the time for one. I don't think I even really have the room for one. I know you've been working really hard producing extra acid and gurgling away for a while and I appreciate the effort. I know how you've been putting in overtime and getting everyone in on helping you. Tell them all thanks, by the way. But right now is just not a good time.
So could we all just try to get along? Maybe we can discuss this whole ulcer thing next year, okay?
Thanks.
Talk to you again soon.

Always,

-Gwenhwyfar