Thursday, August 24, 2006

Magnum Bitch

Dear Magnum Bitch,
That's right, you, the one in the brand new Dodge Magnum. (I know exactly what kind of car you were driving, by the way, but it was hard to not notice as I came awfully close to getting an up close and personal meeting with your shit mobile.) Would it be too much to ask that you pull your head out of your ass just long enough to shoulder check?
Were you looking to add a smear of Suzuki to your lovely new paint job? Have you had too many face lifts to be able to turn your empty little head? Botox eaten away at your ability to reason? Or maybe, just maybe, you are a uselessly stupid bitch who's unaware that swerving into the lane next to you during six o'clock traffic on a fairly busy road without so much as a glance is a really fucking stupid idea!
And by the way, my angrily honking and every single expletive I screamed at you were entirely warranted. You, along with anyone else who almost runs me into the ditch, will get exactly the same response every damned time.
Also, just so you're aware, had I not swerved, I'm fairly certain that your kid would have ended up in my car. Way to go, not only are you a menace to other drivers, but to your own family as well.
One final thing, you're driving a car that is so ugly it should be considered a crime against humanity.


Jason Doan said...

Ya, Regina has some excellent drivers.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Could be worse, we could be in Alberta.

Jason Doan said...

Actually for my money, Winnipeg has the worst drivers of any city I've ever driven in. They all seem to believe that red lights are optional.

Stephen said...

Is this completely necessary? Like, I read at least 3 paragraphs worth of text and came up with "Some broad in a magnum cut me off today". What has happened? Right after the cut-off did you think to yourself "I am going to blog this" or did you carry the rage until you got home? Either way, the term unhealthy jumps into mind. Plus, something like this could maybe be said in a few sentences, not a few chapters.

on a better note, we should go for coffee with G before he leaves.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Right Steve, because you're so reserved when you're pissed off. I've personally heard you go on, at length, about your own shit on many occations.
You want me to make it quick. Fine.
It's my blog.
Fuck you.

And I plan on seeing him, though I'm gonna assume you're gonna be to cool to show up.

badbunnygirl said...

Wow, Jen. That is a lot of anger, my friend. I am impressed. And will repeat before I go to bed every night "Do not Piss Jen off. Do not Piss Jen off".

Gwenhwyfar said...

Hahahahaha... Somehow I think you're safe, but then I'm pretty sure you're not an idiot.

Teh Gnomey said...

Manitoba has by far the worst drivers I have ever seen... and that's saying a lot, because I've been to Toronto.

They don't know how to pass in Manitoba. They think the left lane is where you go if you don't want to drive behind the other person anymore, but kinda like the side view of their vehicle. Thus blocking off all other escape routes for people who like to speed. It's even more annoying once you hit the Yellowhead... because they stick with the same philosophy... while lingering in the way of ONCOMING TRAFFIC!!!! I shouted that, because I hate them.

Gwenhwyfar said...

So much anger under one roof.