Saturday, May 10, 2008

That Old Gag?

I'm starting to think that Hollywood really need to institute rules and regulations regarding gratuitous gag usage. For every tired old gag writers drag out there should be heavy fines. I have a feeling that this would seriously improve a lot of shows and movies and force people to be just a little more creative. (Though it might have a side effect of creating a cycle of gags. Because, of course, if a tired old gag is unused long enough one could reasonably argue that upon reviving it that the fines should be less.)All of the fines could then be given to charity or something.
Here's what I'm thinking:

1) Pie in the face
1a) Pie with filling (ie. Apple, blueberry, etc.) - $500 per pie
1b) Cream pie (Whipped cream, banana cream, meringue or other wise) - $1000 per pie

2) Boss is coming to dinner, hijinx ensue - $2000
2a) Plot stolen directly from "I Love Lucy" - $5000

3) Trying to get rid of an old boyfriend/girlfriend by pretending one of your friends is your husband/wife - $3000
3a) Realizing that the old boyfriend/girlfriend has actually made something of himself/herself/become stinking rich/a supermodel and trying to weasel out of the lie - $4000

4) Character tries to quit smoking by using carrot sticks, complains that he/she can't get them to light - $3000

5) Character doesn't correct mistaken identity right away, hijinx ensue - $3000
5a) Job/sale/relationship riding on the outcome of the situation - $3500

6) Woman walks in at inopportune moment in Man's conversation, blows up without allowing any kind of explanation - $5000

7) Two dates, one restaurant, hijinx ensue - $6000

8) Stereotypical Irish cop - $3000
8a) His name is Paddy/last name begins with O' - $4000

9) Aliens trying to pass themselves off as human
9a) Movie - $50,000
9b) TV series - $1,000,000

10)Mexican servant - $10,000
10a) Over the top accent for comical effect - $20,000

I know there must be more. Any suggestions?


Robin said...

There wouldn't be any movies or tv shows if that happened :D

Janna said...

I agree completely.

And I blogged about you today.
Sort of. :)