Saturday, September 08, 2007

From Me To You 20

Wow, how long has it been? Too long, my friends, too long.

- Going for acupuncture when you're ragging is a really bad idea. Just trust me on this one. Unless you really like it when things suck a whole lot.

- When you come to the library and you want to check out a book the proceedure is the same every damn time. I need to see your card before I check out your books. When you walk up to the desk knowing full well that you will need your card and still have the balls to take your time, dig through every pocket and compartment in your purse or wallet or whatever looking for the damned thing, chances are I am going to want to hurt you. Especially if there is a line of people behind you.

- There are rules no matter where you go. The people who work there don't make them up just to annoy you. They have to follow them just like everyone else. No ammount of talk, bribery, yelling, sob stories, etc. is going to change that. So stop your bitching and suck it up.

- The more you bitch the less I want to help. Understand? You treat me like a person and I might just do something to fix your problem.

- Talking on your cell while you're at the check-out is exceptionally rude. You are an asshole and now everyone knows it.

- The more you act like a dick, the bigger my shit eating grin is going to get and the more sickly sweet I'm going to get. Just because I know it's pissing you off. You think you know passive agressive? You ain't seen nothing yet.

- No one is impressed or scared by your "I've been in prison" stories. In fact we usually make fun of you when you leave.

- Maybe if you took the time to read the signs you wouldn't look like such an idiot asking such stupid questions.

- Yes, you have late fees. This is because your items were late. We tell you when they're due when you take them out. We print off a slip with the due date. We give you two renewals, that you can do over the phone or on-line. We call when they are overdue. We call again if you still don't bring them back. And you still didn't manage to bring them back until the fines got that big. So how is this my fucking fault? That's right. It's not.

2 comments:

Clay said...

I love it when you do these. They make me happy!

Gwenhwyfar said...

Well I'm happy that you're happy.