Monday's my birthday. Tomorrow I'm going to get drunk. Naiomi got me the awesomest present. A red swingline stapler. I'm such a fucking nerd.
(Heather is doing that Pooh cross stitch for my birthday because it made me laugh. If you can't read it, it says "P is for Pooh, the best kind of friend". I asked her if she could add a steamy coil of poo at his feet. I hope she does.)