Saturday, January 14, 2006

From me to you 8

Will there ever be an end to the things that piss me off? Not bloody likely.

Here's the thing people, I know not everyone knows how to drive a standard, so maybe you're not aware - on an incline standards roll. Sometimes not much, but a little bit at least. Stopping three inches behind me on an incline is asking for trouble. Hit the brakes two seconds earlier and get the hell off my ass.

Breaking plans because something better came along tends to make people feel like shit and piss them off. No one likes being a back-up plan.

Making out and slobbering all over each other like a couple of drunk and horny teenagers is only marginally acceptable when you are, in fact, a drunk and horny teenager. When you're an adult in a "mature" relationship, it's just gross, creepy and unacceptable. Get a fucking room and grow the fuck up.

Unless you are a really close friend or a family member that I like, are upset or need comforting or are in a relationship with me, hugs should never last longer than about ten seconds. And that's a ten second MAX, which means for most casual hugs ten seconds it too long, aim for about a two to three second hug. If you're not a friend, don't hug me unless it's absolutely necessary, actually you should probably ask permission before touching me. And lastly, if I don't know you, don't touch me. No touchy, got it? Especially if you're a carny.


Jason Doan said...

So just so I know for future reference, how long am I allowed to hug you for? And more importantly, how long would you hug Chuck Norris for?

Gwenhwyfar said...

I dunno dude, you kinda look like a carny to me.
And Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.