Monday, December 10, 2007

From Me To You 22

- Part of being a good waiter or waitress is know when to fuck off. Whether people are in the middle of a serious conversation or if you've started chatting with them like they're your buddy. Walk away my friend, walk away.

- I don't tip "because it's required", I tip because I get good service. And if I get bad service, you get nothing. See how that works? If you come to the table six fucking times in a row and my glass is still empty I will quench my thirst with your tip.

- Don't get fucking pissy with me when you don't get your tip. You know how the game works, you ungrateful fuck. I don't know what planet you come from where you get everything for nothing, but here on my planet we have to work for what we get.

- Restaurants should pay all of their staff a fair wage and stop expecting their customers to pick up the difference. The whole tipping system is bullshit. There are plenty of places in the world where no one tips and they haven't fallen into chaos yet.

- You know you've been working at the library for too long when you get halfway through putting away your DVDs before realising you've been filing them in perfect alphabetical order.

- You know you've been working at the library way too long when you have the overwhelming urge to correct the spelling and grammar in the bathroom graffiti.

- No radio station should ever be allowed to play 24hrs of Christmas music for the entire month of December.


Mr. Fabulous said...

Boy, and I thought *I* was a cranky pants today!

Avitable said...

I tip a minimum of 10% as a standard for bad service, because it's not the waiter's fault that the restaurant underpays the whole industry. If it's good service, it's a minimum of 20%-30%.

And I drink 8-10 Diet Cokes at one meal, so they have to be quick on their feet to give good service.

Ask said...

You mean you don't alphabetise your DVDs anyway?

Mine are autobiographical (thanks High Fidelity).

I remember staring at a friend's bookshelf for about five minutes trying to work out his ordering system. It turned out to be by height. My books are organised by a rough mixture of author / genre / book size / what can I jam in that gap, which makes me ideal for library work.

crazylady said...

do your vegetables touch?

I want my food fast and hot. Like many other things in my life.
Otherwise you get NADA.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Mr. Fab - I'm not cranky, this is how I am on a good day.

Av - I understand what you're saying, but wait staff in recent years seems to be taking this whole tip thing for granted (nothing pisses me off more than when the tip is already on your bill). I'm not saying I give no tip for even marginally bad service. The service has to be pretty fucking terrible for me to leave nothing. (But with the waitress I was specifically thinking about, I spent over an hour and a half with an empty glass and she came back to the table at least six times.)

Ask - I would have alphabetised them anyway, it just scared me that I did it without noticing. My music is autobiographical (thanks High Fidelity). My books are grouped by author, favourites and series.

crazylady - They can touch as long as they have a chaperone.
I don't mind a bit of a wait for my food because I know that things take time to cook. As long as it's hot when I get it and I'm not waiting an unreasonable length of time. But like anyone I have to deal with as a customer, I expect the service to be helpful and happy to be so. (When I'm at work I put on my shit eating grin, so can they.)

Anonymous said...

I hate eating at restaurants anymore. I end up getting so pissed at the service that I get indigestion.

It's just not worth it!

Gwenhwyfar said...

PP - I avoid it whenever I can. It's so not worth the hassle.