Sunday, August 28, 2005

I feel sick

I hate that sick feeling that settles in my stomach right before I freak out. I hate freaking over something I'm worried about. I hate worrying about nothing. I hate when the nothing I'm worrying about actually turns into something. So I spend a lot of my time being worried and hating every second of it and if I could turn it off I would - trust me. I get this all consuming worry that makes me sick and distroys any slim chance I had of sleeping. Every minute that ticks by that I can't sleep because I'm worried is one more minute where I can worry more and imagining things that are worse. It's sick, really.
There's a small part of me that's still rational and it screams that I'm worrying about nothing and making myself sick for no reason, but the frantic and panicy part of me seems to be louder and usually wins out.
Maybe it's just the caffiene, but I feel sick.
Stupid everything.

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