Monday, March 22, 2010

Drunk And Nerdy*

I went for supper with my friend Ted last night. Somehow we ended up spending nearly the entire time coming up with some of the best and worst drinks ever created.

The M. Night Shyamalan - A shitty drink, with a twist!

This drink is dedicated to the man and his films.

Jack - The depressing lead of the movie
Grenadine - The "something special" to lift up the lead and give him a little hope
151 - Like M. Night's movies, leaves you confused and wondering what the hell happened (and, if you've just watched one of his movies, you'll wish you were very, very drunk).
Cranberry Juice - The bitterness his movies leave you with.

Served in a Martini glass (chilled or not, it doesn't matter - much like his movies) rimmed with crushed cinnamon hearts (they claim to be cinnamon, but we all know they're not and they leave you with the taste of bile at the back of your throat).
Finished with a twist of lime (Every movie has his trademark twist, so something expected but not as obvious as lemon) - May be substituted with grapefruit if you're not feeling quite bitter enough.

The Adversary - Pronounced "Adver-ser-ee"

This is a drink for Sean Connery. It must be drunk while wearing a kilt and preferably while watching "Hunt for Red October".

Scotch - Obviously
Mike's Hard Cranberry - Something in-your-face, that clearly doesn't belong there

Served with a Jaggerbomb chaser (to get you drunk enough to slur and hyper enough to go head to head with Connery).

Sabotage - Pronounced "Sabo-t-A-ge"

This is a drink for the beloved Captain Kirk. It's a girly drink, designed to bring the ladies, to sneak up on them, knock them on their ass and have them wake up wondering what the hell happened.

Triple filtered vodka - Something easy to hide but strong enough to do some damage
Strawberry juice - A straight up girl drink
Shaved ice - No matter how hot, you're not going to melt this cowboy

Served in a chilled martini glass, rimmed in vanilla sugar with a chocolate drizzle.

The Sabre Tooth

Bacon vodka - Shot
Jalepeno Bacon Salt rim
Bacon Bit garnish

Meat on meat on meat, with a bite.

Substitute the Jalepeno Bacon Salt for Maple Bacon salt and add liquid smoke - You have yourself A Wolverine

The Jubilee

One shot of Blue Bols in a shot glass rimmed with Pop Rocks.

This one it pretty self-explanitory.

The Nightcrawler

Kirschwasser - Shot
Gin - Shot

Served separately, mixed in a glass and then shot.
Must be served under a black light.

The Deadpool

Redbull - Shotgunned
Green apple Sour Puss - Shot
Maple Syrup - Shot
A raw egg (served in a shot glass) - with Tobasco garnish

Red food colouring should be added to the first two shots.
Between each shot the drinker should talk himself out of each shot before doing it anyway.
Finished by punching yourself in the face.

The Bizzarro Superman

This drink is much like a traditional tequila shot.

Salt is licked off the hand followed by a shot of pure lemon juice. A shot of tequila is thrown over your shoulder. Finished by punching the person to your left.

And finally...

The Apocalypse**

This is a line shot.

3 shots - 151
1 shot - Snakebite
2 tumblers - 151
1 tumbler - Hot 100
1 pint - 151

Finished by burning down the bar.

*For the complete set of Star Trek theme drinks - go here.
** Not recommended for human consumption. Ever. For any reason.


Robin said...

I think we need a Keyser Soze drink, don't you?

Gwenhwyfar said...

Oh fuck yeah. We should make a drink for each of Kevin's characters.