Thursday, November 30, 2006

Speaking Of Snow

Who could use a scarf? I know I sure could.
In case the Blood Scarf doesn't do it for you, you could try a meat pillow or just a simple pill-ow. You can check them all out here.

Monday, November 27, 2006

It's Here!

Well, it's finally here. I was actually starting to think it would never come. But we finally have snow.
I know I'm probably the only person who lives in a place that gets snow to be cheering its arrival, but I'm really kind of glad it's here. Besides, I do much better in the cold than the blistering heat. Proabably has something to do with my black heart.
I'll just sit here quietly and wait for the angry mob of winter hating people to show up and rip me to shreds. (That is, if they can get their cars started.)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Sad Day In Cinema History

Robert Altman passed away yesterday at the age of 81.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Not Taking Any Shit

I love when people go all the way with their revenge. By the sounds of it, this guy got what he deserves.
Click on the image to get a better look.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Paging Sigmund Freud

Well, I think I've got my Christmas shopping done. Everyone's getting one of these.

That's Right, Another One

One Word Answers

1. Yourself: neurotic
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: none
3. Your hair: thick
4. Your mother: insane
5. Your father: perfectionist
6. Your favorite item: computer
7. Your dream last night: bad
8. Your favorite drink: coffee
9. Your dream car: smart
10. The room you are in: bedroom
11. Your ex: pariah
12. Your fear: failure
13. What you want to be in 10 years: success
14. Who you hung out with last night: friends
15. What you're not: meek
16. Muffins: stump
17: One of your wish list items: money
18: Time: 4.28
19. The last thing you did: surf
20. What you are wearing: clothes
21. Your favorite weather: rainy
22. Your favorite book: Boudica
23. The last thing you ate: apple
24. Your life: rollercoaster
25. Your mood: varies
26. Your best friend (s): awesome
27. What are you thinking about right now: business
28. Your car: borrowed
29. What are you doing at the moment: waiting
30. Your summer: over
31. What is on your tv: movies
32. What is the weather like: good
33. When is the last time you laughed: night

Friday, November 17, 2006

Yes I Know It's Lame... And Stolen

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie

Opening Credits: Do what you want - OK Go

Waking Up: Tiny cities made of ashes - Modest Mouse

First Day At School: Around the world (honestly, I don't know who it's by or why the hell it's in my iTunes)

Falling In Love: Bang, Bang (My baby shot me down - Nancy Sinatra (well, that's fitting)

Fight Song: I'm only happy when it rains - Garbage

Breaking Up: Hell - Squirrel Nut Zippers

Prom: Bye Bye Baby - OK Go

Life: Twilight - Squirrel Nut Zippers (wow, that's lame)

Mental Breakdown: Lately it's so quiet - OK Go

Driving: Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson

Flashback: The fix is in - OK Go (told you I like them)

Getting Back Together: Bang, Bang, you're dead - Dirty Pretty Things

Wedding: Goodbye, Eddie, Goodbye - The Juicy Fruits

Birth of Child: Triplets of Belville (that's scary)

Final Battle: Them there eyes - Billie Holiday (what a bizarre battle it would be)

Death Scene: Carry me, Carrie - Dr. Hook

Funeral Song: It's all coming back to me now - Meatloaf

End Credits: Green hornet theme - Al Hirt (now that'd be awesome)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

OK Go!

If you haven't heard of them, seen their amazing videos, born witness to their awesomeness in general... then you, my friend, should crawl out from under whatever rock you dwell under and listen up. OK Go is one of my new favourite bands.
If nothing else, check out their damned videos at YouTube. Do it! Do it NOW!


They're fixed! Woot! So I have water at my house again and the taps aren't spraying water everywhere. I also didn't have to rip down an entire wall to fix them, which is even better.


I'm adding two new links to the site. Normally I wouldn't make a formal announcement, but these are important.
In the last couple of months a few of the coolest people lost their battle with cancer.
So do what you can to help make sure this doesn't keep happening. No one should have to go through what they, their families and their friends have gone through.
You'll be able to find links to the Canadian Cancer Society and the American Cancer Society from now on.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I Needed One

I usually bitch about patrons at the library, but today I got one of those rare exeptions - a nice patron. Seriously. I couldn't believe it either.
She was this little old lady, looking for older movies or tv shows she could take to her seniors group and she asked for some help trying to pick out a few things. I did my best and I do like old movies and shows so I could actually offer some decent help.
She found a few things she liked and thanked me gratefully, then quite out of the blue, gave me a hug.
Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT want every patron I help hugging me, but this was too funny and cute in the "grandma" kinda way.
Anyway, it was a damned side better then most of the shit I've gotta deal with.


Stupid Everything!
Last night, around 10.30 - 11pm, I'm watching TV. Naiomi's in the shower. The cats are doing whatever it is that cats do when you're not watching them.
I've lived in my house for long enough to know the house sounds. All the little noises everything makes, up to an including what the house sounds like when the taps are running. The sounds coming from the bathroom was not a sound I had ever heard before and since my house has a long history of falling in to complete chaos without notice, I became reasonably terrified.
I walked over to the bathroom to see if I could work out what was going on. Just as I reached the door, it swings open and a very soggy, thankfully toweled, Naiomi looks at me and says something along the lines of "It's not my fault, but the tap won't shut off."
I rush into the steam filled bathroom, it would have to be the hot tap that's on, and try to stop it. I turn the tap a few times. Nothing happens. The tap feels like it's tightening a bit, but the water just keeps on pouring.
I call my dad. He says I have to turn off the main water. This is a problem because I a) don't have any fucking clue where the main water is b) have to go down into my terrifying, awful, pit ofdespair that is the basement c) have a bunch of stuff sitting on the cellar-type door into the basement.
So we frantically move the shit off the basement door. I scramble downstairs while Naiomi has the good sense to fill a pot with some water, since we'll be waterless for the night. Over the phone my dad tells me where the main water tap should be. I find it, it's a good thing to know the location of as it turns out, and I turn it off.
I'm really happy I decided to shower last night and not this morning.
Today my dad's coming over to take a look at the tap. He's hoping it's just the washer. Worst case, we have to replace the taps which involves taking down tiles, the wall and replacing part of the pipes. That would leave me waterless for another day. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.
Damned stupid everything.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Rubber Band Terrorist?

So apprently flying with a rubber band ball is out, unless you like getting arrested. This guy's story illustrates that pretty well.


I found this site through Boing Boing this morning and I have to say, it's impressively dark and twisted. Actually I'm trying to decide whether they're for real or not.
Anyway, I'd suggest a look see at least.

Drinking, Puking, Slobbering Mess

That pretty much sums up Day 1 of Chris' farewell weekend. He's moving to Japan for a year (at least, anyway) so he's entitled to a decent send off.
Tonight he had his heart set on joining the Guinness club. For anyone who doesn't know, to join the club you need to drink 8 pints in one sitting and Chris weighs roughly 90 lbs. I knew from the get go it was going to be a messy night.
He handled the first few pretty well, but half way through number 4, things started to get ugly. He debuted his drunk face and started to worry that he would fail in his second attempt to join the club. But our mighty Chris pressed on.
Some memorable quotes from the evening...

Chris: I can't smile on command.
Jo: You can't smile like a man?
Chris: On command!
Jo: A man?

Scott: Did you puke?
Chris: (very matter-of-factly) Yes.

Chris: It's the awkward turtle. He's know all over the place. Like, far away. Like, Ontario and Wisconsin and California.

There was also a guy working at the bar with the worst hair EVER. It was so bad I was actually hoping it was a wig he put on as a joke.
It wasn't.
It was like some kind of nasty, rat-nest, badly streaked, back combed, just got out of bed, someone puked in my hair, mullet from hell. I actually laughed out loud when I saw it. I wouldn't make fun if he just had hair that was hard to style or something, but this was clearly intentional. Kyle and I tried to point the guy out to Chris when he asked why we were laughing, but he totally missed him. Kyle made the mistake of asking him if he knew the mullet man. Chris took the opportunity to sing 10 minutes of a garbled half made up version of Do you know the Mullet Man? It was lovely.
When he finished with his tune, he looked up just in time to see the guy we had been trying to point out.
His response?
"Hey! That guy has a mullet!"
He also managed to slosh a bit of beer on the table, wipe it up with a napkin and then couldn't figure out where the beer soaked napkin came from. When I reminded him about the spilt beer he called me a liar and swore that he never spilled a drop. Just for that, me and Kyle spent the rest of the evening screwing with his head (emptying and refilling his water glass at random, making up times when he'd ask what time it was, etc.). It was fairly juvenile, I admit, but we were the only two not drunk ones there.
But I digress. Chris went on to finish off his 8th pint, puking several times and making a mad, wobbly dash to the can, hand clamped over mouth, and puked one final time before the bouncer asked us nicely to leave.
I then led a seriously weaving Chris back to the car and gave him one puke-free ride home, during which he told me no less that 5 times how happy he was to have made it through all 8 pints.
So way to go dude, way to go.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Why The Hell Are They Clapping Like That?

Does anyone else remember a kids game show from the late 80's early 90's where pairs of kids sat in cars and they all clapped with their hands over their heads like stupid asshats?
I remember the show but I can't for the life of me remember the name of the damned thing. Can anyone help?
Seriously, this is driving me crazy.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Attack Of The Snails!

I was casually scanning the news headlines on Yahoo this morning when I found myself re-reading one of them. Giant Snails Invade Barbados. The headline made me laugh so hard I had to read the artical.
I realize that these snails are causing some serious damage there, it's just that it seems like the plot from some shitty, B-movie.
When they talk about snails "swarming", all I can think of is the scene in Austin Powers when he runs the guys over with the steam roller... very... very... slowly.
Allaby Small, 66, has started lighting bonfires a few nights a week to kill the snails encroaching on his house, and said he worries they will find a way under his roof to his home.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I Think I'm In Love

This website is absolutely full of pieces I love. Andy Paiko's work is just painfully beautiful. It's the kind of work I would design a whole house around.
Check it out. Seriously.
(Thanks for the link Jay.)

Monday, November 06, 2006

That's Right, More Halloween Stuff

I finally got the pics of my pumpkin from my mom's camera, so here it is.
One little kid thought it was Indiana Jones. I almost didn't give that kid any candy.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

I Never Thought I'd Say This...

But House & Garden had a spread last month that I love. I want the whole thing.
Check it out here.

Parents With Waaaaaaay Too Much Money

Check out some of the shit they have for sale over at Posh Tots. I can't imagine why anyone who think their children would need a bed that costs $47,000, but they sure have one.

Friday, November 03, 2006


I found this site a little earlier today.

I Know The Saying "It Takes All Kinds", But...

This is guy should be locked the fuck up. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with some people?

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A disturbing case was discovered Tuesday about a Central Ohio man who allegedly told police he likes to drink the urine of adolescent boys.
Alan Patton, 54, is in jail after allegedly telling Gahanna police that he enjoys drinking urine.
Detective Ron Fithen interviewed Patton after he was arrested while leaving a movie theater last weekend.
"Listening to his describe it, it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine," Fithen said.
According to police, Patton said he's been drinking urine for years.
"He told us he's been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old," Fithen said.
Police said Patton goes to family restaurants and movie theaters and waits for boys in a bathroom stall. Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.
Patton allegedly told police that he leaves the stall after the child leaves.
"He goes back and retrieves the cup and drinks the urine," Fithen said.
Police said Patton told them it makes him sick, but that it's almost spiritual to him. He allegedly added, "I like it because it makes me closer to them -- like I'm drinking their youth."
A New Albany father played a role in Patton's arrest. He told someone at a movie theater that Patton was staring at his son in the bathroom. The theater employee then called police.
Officials said Patton is a registered sexual predator, who was convicted of rape 13 years ago.
Police believe Patton has been collecting and drinking urine in cities around Central Ohio, including Hilliard, Westerville, Dublin, Worthington and Gahanna.

This artical was found at

Ape People? Seriously?

I have no idea how reliable this source is, but this artical is almost too strange for words.

Awesomest... Fireplace... Ever!

This has got to be the best fireplace in the world. Possibly the universe.Seriously.
I want one.

Finally, A Holiday That Wasn't Made Up Just To Sell Greeting Cards!

It's International Spaz day today.
In the words of my cousin:
I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals or
occasionally shit yourself. You hang in there sunshine, you're fucking