From me to you 9

I've caught some god awful illness from somewhere, so I've been sick for the last couple of days. It's made me grumpy, among other things. (Who am I trying to kid? I don't need an excuse to be grumpy.) I've also been reminded of a few things I could have done without, really. For instance:

Day time television sucks. It sucks a lot. It sucks enough to make me wish I wasn't sick so I could go to work.
Who are the mental midgets putting together this line up? A better question really is who are the mental midgets watching this shit?
They can't possibly all be people home sick from work, who are to sick to care much what's on TV as they lay in a NyQuil induced coma, surrounded by a box worth of crusty used tissue and drooling while Montel hands the mic over to yet another woman who thinks "you need to drop that zero and get yourself a hero", while Sally sends yet another group of juvenile delinquents (who would make damned good poster children for Pro-Choice) to boot camp with Maj. Asshole, while (God help us) Maury reads out the results of yet another paternity test as the nation waits in suspense to find out if Billy-Joe is really little Bubba's father.
Even if you manage to shake the green haze long enough to change the channel you end up caught in the seventh circle of hell that is the "Soap Opera". A creation so foul it was surely birthed from the loins of the devil himself, raised on a diet of painfully bad acting, incomprehensible plots, and the flakiest scripts known to man, then spat forth from the very bowels of hell to inflict torture on innocent viewers everywhere.
So long story short - I've spent most of this sick time reading.

And in conclusion...

I can't tell you how much I'd like to strangle the life out of all these goddamned wastes of skin who fill the internet with their goddamned chat slang. Write out the word you asshole.
How much time do you think you're saving by typing "newayz" instead of just writing "anyway"? Is it really that taxing on your peabrain to write out "people" that you need to shorten it to "ppl"? How hard is it to type out Christina or Christians that you needed to shorten it to "Xtina" and "Xtians"?
You don't look cute or cool, you look like an illiterate douche bag.
English is being destroyed by morons.