Haiti

I was going to try and avoid the subject entirely, not because I don't care but because it's everywhere I look. Then this morning I read that they've been struck with another earthquake or a powerful aftershock. Whatever you want to call it.
I've been following the news quietly, looking through the pictures and it's heartbreaking. I know that a lot of terms like "heartbreaking" and "tragic" have been tossed around a lot this week, but I can't think of a better word. It really is.
What strikes me most about the whole thing is how torn I am. Half of me is awe struck at how amazingly selfless, giving, and generous people can be. The amount of money that people have given, the time, the man power, it's wonderful. But at the same time The other half of me has never been so completely disgusted with just how selfish, cruel and down right evil people can be. The people who are taking advantage of those in desperate need, using a tragedy to push a political or religious agenda, it's mind boggling and sickening.
My heart goes out to everyone in Haiti and I can only hope that through some work and the help of those good people still left out there, things will improve soon.

Bullshit Fact Of The Day

A study in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that a dollar could buy 1,200 calories of potato chips or 875 calories of soda but just 250 calories of vegetables or 170 calories of fresh fruit.

Don't Be Alarmed, This Is Only A Test

I know, every asshole you bump in to is talking about exactly the same fucking thing lately. No, not taxes. Swine Flu. It's the new Susan Boyle of illnesses. It doesn't even seem like it's been that long since the news hit and I'm already sick to death (pardon the pun) of hearing about it.

Don't get me wrong, people are sick and others have died. That's a whole lot of awful. But statistically tens of thousands of people die in the US of the flu every single year. That's not even the whole world. And that's definitely not including all of the other horrible ways people die every single day.

Am I saying we should all laugh in the face of Swine Flu (I'm personally picturing a pigs face with an apple in it's mouth... how odd)? No, not really. People are getting sick and you should have a healthy respect for that (no pun intended). Just like you always should. But should you freak out like it's the end of the fucking world? No! Seriously, calm the fuck down. Put down the hand sanitizer and the bleach and the disinfectant and take a fucking breather for a sec.

Honest to Bob, guys, Death is not lurking around every corner waiting to pounce on your stupid ass with his piggy germs of doom. I'm sure the guy has better things to be doing, to be frank. You'd think they'd announced the beginning of the zombie apocalypse or something. The oinkers of death are not going to come swooping in to your town like locusts or (gods forbid) like the flying monkeys from Wizard of Oz. Really. I wouldn't lie to you about this.

If we can't all calm the fuck down about this, it's going to turn very quickly in to a witch hunt. Reading some of the comments on certain news sites, that is what's troubling me more than the actual news.

Now, can we please talk about something else?

I Never Thought That Would Happen

I'm 24, just for the record. That's five presidents and four inaugurations I've lived through. Honestly, I have such a complete lack of interest in all things political and even more so in american politics I had to look that up. I couldn't have named any one of those men beyond Clinton and Bush and I probably couldn't have put them in chronological order. And I have never watched an inauguration, ever.
Today that changed.
I sat and watched the whole thing. I listened to the swearing in and the speeches. Everything. For the first time in my whole life I had a reason to.
The last eight years have been a constant reminder of just how much everything that goes on next door impacts us. It's dragged us down in more ways than I care to count, pulled us in to conflicts and been a weight on the shoulders of all of us. It's something I had never really felt before. So it would be a lie to say that my hopes aren't high, but it would be a bigger lie to say that my concern isn't higher.
But for now I'm going to concentrate on being hopeful. Hang on to the good feeling while I can, you know?



**On a completely unrelated note, let me take a second and say sorry for missing both MLK day AND Edgar Allan Poe's birthday. I spent all day yesterday being really, really, really sick and wasn't in any condition to do much of anything, including posting.

Death Of Khan

I was really hoping that this year would, at very least, start off better than last year. But no. Here I am writing yet another fairwell to one of my favourite people.
Ricardo Montalban passed away this morning. Taking with him one of the all time greatest voices, ever. No one else could have been Khan or Mr. Roarke or could have made the phrase "fine corinthian leather" so damned sexy. Really, there have been few people who could make anything sound so damned sexy.

More Sad News

I was absolutely hearbroken to read that Majel Barrett passed yesterday. Majel was always one of my all time favourite Star Trek regulars. Whether it was as Number One (however short lived the character was), Nurse Chapel or in every episode as the computer. Although I must say that no one holds a candle to Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the fifth house, holder of the sacred chalice of Rixx, heir to the holy rings of Betazed.
The final frontier just won't be the same without her.

Bye Bye, Bettie

I was saddened to hear that Bettie Page passed away earlier today.
Like so many others I've been enthralled with her for years. She's the classic, the perfect and the notorious.
So bye bye, Bettie. No one will ever replace you.

Headline Yoou Don't See Every Day

Black lab drives owner's car into Idaho river. That's what I saw when I went to Yahoo this morning. I had to read it. And you can too! Here it is!

Happy Birthday To Me!

It's my birthday. Hazzah!

Return Of The Prodigal Cousin

G is moving back for the summer! Hoorah! And he's gonna be back in time for my birthday! Again hoorah!

Good Thing They Didn't Overreact

Looks like we've managed to fool the Americans in to believing that these coins are completely harmless commemorative coins and not spy coins. And it came pretty damned close to them figuring out the truth too. One guy even noticed the "nano-technology" worked into the terribly clever "poppy" camouflage. We need to start being more careful.
Next thing you know, they're going to realize that we only give the hilarious Monopoly money to tourists and that CBC actually stands for Commies Bloody Commies.

Limbo: Cancelled

According to Yahoo News, the Pope has cancelled Limbo. Cancelled.
CANCELLED?
Is he allowed to do that? I mean, I know (based on this picture) that he probably eats the souls of the unbaptised*. But is he allowed to just say "Screw it, I'm tired of this Limbo shit. Go tell everyone I said it's a load of crap. We changed our minds."?
I was always pretty certain that you aren't allowed to just "change" a long standing belief and teaching within a religion whenever it doesn't work for you. But then I suppose they changed it to Limbo from "all unbaptised children go to HELL". Wasn't that sweet of them? I love when a group can play to the audience like that.
But seriously, this isn't just like them going back on "no meat on Friday", this is a big fucking back pedal because basically what they've changed is the "born with sin" idea. Now the Pope's decided that everyone is born clean.
I'm completely miffed by all of this and it's not even my religion. I've got to say this move certainly isn't instilling a great deal of confidence in the stability of the vatican's teachings and belief system. And remember, this is a religion that people have died for, killed for, gone to war for. This is religion that people build their whole lives around and it can change so drastically at the drop of a hat? You'll excuse me when I say that it sounds like a whole big steamy pile of bullshit to me.




*Seriously, in a club of fairly scary looking guys, to be know as the scariest you've got to be down right terrifying. This guy scares the hell out of me (no pun intended). There is nothing redeaming about him at all. Even when he smiles he looks like he's grimacing.
I mean I know he's german, but even that doesn't account for his mug. For years I thought my grandmother had cornered the market on the german scowl, but this puts her to shame.
Did they elect this guy in the hopes that he'd be able to scare everyone in to repenting? I'm sure the number of people going to confession, just out of fear of pissing him off, doubled at least.
I keep expecting him to sprout horns and breathing fire while begining to feast on the souls of the living.

Not Quite TMNT

Recently in Minneapolis a city worker was down in the sewers doing some work when he was sprayed in the face with blood.
My favourite part of the article I found this new is was this:

When asked if it's safe to have blood in the sewers, the (Metropolitan) Council said it is no more harmful than most other wastes in the sewer.

The Tooth Fairy Doesn't Like The Middle Aged

Apparently if you're between the ages of 30 - 40 and you start loosing your teeth, you should start getting your affairs in order.

Actual loss of teeth suggests a disease that has been ongoing for some 15, 20 years without being detected," Professor Birgitta Soder, one of the study's authors, told the Goteborgs-Posten newspaper.

I love happy news in the morning...

Geraldo Still A Douche Bag

I hate Geraldo and I really hate his fucking mustache. So this article I found over at Boing Boing doesn't come as any great surprise.

National embarrassment Geraldo Rivera called leftie newsman Kieth Olbermann a pussy and a slimeball and threatened to beat him up, saying "I would make a pizza out of him."

Apparently Geraldo was visiting with 104.1 FM's Monsters just before Christmas, when they asked him about the time he made international headline for disclosing too much information about troops in Iraq. Geraldo claimed the incident was blown out of proportion, largely by NBC -- and specifically Olbermann. Geraldo then began mumbling semi-audible names, seemingly meant to describe Olbermann: "midget ... punk ... slimeball."

But then, with the Monsters helpful prodding, Geraldo went a step further, leaving no doubt about what he was saying. He called Olbermann a coward -- specifically a "[female part of the anatomy] who wouldn't walk across the street against the red light."

He then said he was ready to fight him, saying: "I would make a pizza out of him."

Why I Hate "Office Work"

In every place of business there seems to be at least one person who's only real job is to make work for other people and to make their lives miserable (I can think of at least one where I work). The really horrible thing is that sometimes these people are put in charge. Those are the times when a career change would be a good idea, though thoughts usually start to wander to the joys of suicide if no other offers come along quickly.

I Hope You're Happy.... Jerks

So I've decided to finally do something about the suggestions I've gotten from various people and start a sister site to Shit I Hate. So from now on, those of you living vicariously through me can now stand in awe... or read in awe Shit I love.
Enjoy.

Peter Boyle (1935 - 2006)

Peter Boyle passed away last night at the age of 71.
As much as I don't like "Everybody loves Raymond", I've always been a fan of Peter Boyle. "Young Frankenstein" is one of only a handful of movies that I can watch time and time again and it always makes me laugh. Watching him and Gene Wilder singing Putin' on the Ritz makes me laugh until I cry.

Kanye West Isn't Just An Egomaniac

He's also unoriginal. And Evil Knievel is going to sue his ass for using his image in the "touch the sky" video. Funny how people get pissy when you use their shit without asking first and unfortunately for Kanye that means a lawsuit.
I wish I could say I feel sorry for him, but Kanye has been pissing me off for a while. This asshole just loves himself WAY too much. It's a shame we all could sue him for being subjected to his ego when he stormed the stage at the music videos awards.

I Know The Saying "It Takes All Kinds", But...

This is guy should be locked the fuck up. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with some people?

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A disturbing case was discovered Tuesday about a Central Ohio man who allegedly told police he likes to drink the urine of adolescent boys.
Alan Patton, 54, is in jail after allegedly telling Gahanna police that he enjoys drinking urine.
Detective Ron Fithen interviewed Patton after he was arrested while leaving a movie theater last weekend.
"Listening to his describe it, it's like listening to a crack or cocaine addict. He's addicted to children's urine," Fithen said.
According to police, Patton said he's been drinking urine for years.
"He told us he's been doing it over 40 years, since he was 7 years old," Fithen said.
Police said Patton goes to family restaurants and movie theaters and waits for boys in a bathroom stall. Investigators said he shuts off the water to the child-level urinal and puts a cup in the bottom.
Patton allegedly told police that he leaves the stall after the child leaves.
"He goes back and retrieves the cup and drinks the urine," Fithen said.
Police said Patton told them it makes him sick, but that it's almost spiritual to him. He allegedly added, "I like it because it makes me closer to them -- like I'm drinking their youth."
A New Albany father played a role in Patton's arrest. He told someone at a movie theater that Patton was staring at his son in the bathroom. The theater employee then called police.
Officials said Patton is a registered sexual predator, who was convicted of rape 13 years ago.
Police believe Patton has been collecting and drinking urine in cities around Central Ohio, including Hilliard, Westerville, Dublin, Worthington and Gahanna.

This artical was found at http://www.nbc4i.com/news/7302651/detail.html