Funny? Not Even A Little

As I have previously stated, I hate AFV and all the shows out there like it. They are the kind of shows that glorify poor decision making skills and stupidity. They play to the lowest form of entertainment. I really believe that shows of that kind only serve to dumb down the already slow witted general public.
But the one thing that I hate most of all about shows like that are quite a few of the videos involving small children and animals (The former being a group I don't really care for and the latter a group I love dearly).
Last night when I stopped at my friend's house, he had AFV on so I ended up seeing more than I cared to. One video in particular caught my eye.
After watching a toddler in a bathtub pull a nearby cat (rather roughly, I might add) in to the water only to have the cat spaz (That's right, letting your naked child haul and angry cat, complete with claws, in to a bathtub is a REALLY GOOD IDEA) I was just about done. I'd love to tell you I was surprised that it only got worse.
It was followed by a video of a very small child crawling along after a tiny frog (it apparently had gotten in to their house as it was hoping frantically across the carpet). The baby kept grabbing at the poor thing in the ungracious manner that babies have while the camera looked on and the parents laughed. When the baby finally got ahold of the terrified frog I was cringing but the announcer was kind enough to assure everyone that the baby didn't crush the frog.
No.
While the parents watched the baby nearly squishing the life out of a living thing (and laughed) it shoved the poor frog in its mouth and killed it that way.
Yeah, Mr. Announcer. Thanks for telling us all not to worry that the baby wasn't going to squish the frog in its hand. And way to go, mom with the camera, for waiting until that happened (because we didn't all see that coming) to put down the fucking camera and dig the now very dead frog out of your child's mouth.
Can someone please tell me what part of that was meant to be funny?
Actually, no. Don't. I would like to hold on to a little tiny piece of me that believes that there are still people out there who also can't see what part of that is supposed to be comical.

Thanks A Lot

It's my mom's birthday tomorrow. It falls shortly after Father's Day so there's always a bit of an over lap in planning, which I'm usually left with the bulk of.

That's only partially a complaint. In all honesty, I like it that way. It leaves very little up to chance when I don't have to count on anyone, I know what's going on, I know that everything is handled (or failing that, that there is a back up plan) and I actually LIKE doing the planning. I LIKE making supper. I LIKE all of those things because it's one of the big ways I show that I care.

So when I was talking to my mom today and she mentioned supper tomorrow and that my brother had already spoken to her about it, I was a little surprised.

Before Father's Day I had asked him what he was planning and told him we needed to talk about it. Father's Day came and went and he didn't say a word. It's not unusual for him to just forget everything so I made a plan. I even took tomorrow afternoon off to make supper. I spent a week looking up recipes and figuring things out. I was figuring out desert and getting my grocery list together.

But no.

My brother had already spoken to her about dinner and failed to mention any of this to me.

I plan this shit out for every single occasion and the ONE time he decides to help it's by making all the plans AND NOT TELLING ME.

So all the hours I spent planning were for nothing. He left me without anything to do, which makes me feel like a fucking schmuck. And now because I'm mad, hurt and upset my mother wants to cancel everything and just not have a birthday because, you know, that doesn't make me feel even more like a fucking douche bag.

Awesome.

The best part is, if I hadn't spoken to my mother I would have gone to get groceries tonight and gone to make supper tomorrow so my idiot brother could show up with his own groceries in tow.

It's days like these I wish I could drink.

Put It In Your Face Hole

Rice is something I like when there's stuff with it. It's rare that I ever eat just rice. I don't really care for it alone. All that may have changed (sort of). I have discovered furikake*.

This shit is awesome. I bought some earlier and wanted to try it out. Since I had some left over rice from a few days ago, supper seemed like a good chance to try it out. I will never be sad that I did.

Between a sammich and the rice, I almost didn't want to eat the sammich. It was just taking time away from eating the rice. It was also taking up room in my stomach for the delicious, delicious rice.

I am suddenly INCREDIBLY happy I live within walking distance of the store that sells it. I have a feeling I'm going to go through a lot.

*Although it's spelled a little too much like Bukkake.

Shit...

I'm doing that thing again, aren't I? That thing where I neglect this place.
I'm sorry.
Life has been busy. You know, real life. Not that my twitter or tumblr would show that at all.
Part of it is, I've been wondering how much life the old girl has left in her. Kill the Body was my first site ever. It's been here through good times and bad. It's been my sanctuary, my confessional, my hiding place. It's been here when I needed a good rant, and we all know that's often enough.
But, as Bob Dylan says, "Times they are a-changing".
I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago (yeah, 5 years) but who of us is?
It took me a long time to come to terms with that. I'm not the same angry, hateful person any more. There are shades of that person still, but not to the same extent and to be honest, I hope it stays that way.
My interests, hobbies and loves have all found homes in other places if not in my real, everyday life (how boring, eh?).
So do I still need this place?
In a strange way, part of me does. I think I always will. I don't know that I want to give it up, throw it away or delete it forever. I don't know if I'm ready to do that with such a huge piece of my life. The last six years of my life have been the most difficult six years I hope to ever live through. There have been some horribly dark times (and some amazingly good times). This place made it possible for me to carry on and sometimes... it was a reason to carry on.
So how do I walk away? Should I even consider it? Can I commit to coming here more often and posting again.
Not the same as I used to. Those days are gone. But something. Anything.
I don't know.
I need to spend more time thinking I guess.
Feel free to chime in.
If there's anyone still out there.

Team Edward?

Yeah, you could say that.
Wait... who the fuck were you talking about?

An Issue Of Distance

Like most people my age, I'm pretty pro-internet. I spend a lot of time entertaining myself with stupid online shit. It fills time when I'm bored at work, it increases the amount of useless information I have stored in my head and most of all, it connects me to all kinds of people.

I certainly count that last one as a pro, for me it's also a con.

See I have plenty of friends offline (believe it or not) and I also have plenty of friends online, some of whom I've met and some I haven't. My friends online are scattered all over the world. They're great people who I'm proud to know and prouder still to call friends. The ones I have met have been (unbelievably) more awesome in person than online and they're in my thoughts constantly.

Bu at the same time it's sad. Being scattered around the world means that they are all much, much too far away. It drives me crazy when I know someone is upset or freaking out or just having a bad day and I can't just be there. There are so many times when I say "I wish I could give you a hug" and I mean it completely. There are even more times I think "I wish they were here" whether it's just for coffee and hanging out or because I'm the one who needs a hug.

I do what I can to make the distance seem less but sometimes... it sucks balls.

I guess what it comes down to is this - I love all my friends. They are awesome. To be able to continue sharing pieces of my life with these people, I take the bad along with the good because it's worth it to me.

I just wish you were here.

Speaking Of Houses

I've been thinking a lot lately about houses. Well, to be more precise, I've been thinking about what it is I want in a house, what's important, what's required and (when I get bored) what I'd want in a dream house.
I've always had a list of things I'm looking for in a home - and I do mean home, I have no intention of making a life for myself in a "house". But over the years that list has grown and shrunk again, changed and changed again.
Part of the trouble is, I'm a huge design whore. I love interior design (now there's a career I really should look in to) and I love things that make a place special. So, unfortunately, what I can afford and what my dream home looks like are not just miles apart, they're on different planets. (Slowly, I am working my way closer to the dream but for now I'm here.)
Where am I at now?
Right now I'm day dreaming. So here are a few things I would look for if my lotto numbers came through.

A closed front porch - I love them. A lot. I'm the kind of person who enjoys sitting outside without actually sitting outside. It's some kind of personality flaw, I'm sure, but it's true.

A second floor/loft - I don't know why I have a fascination with having an upstairs, but I do. I think it comes along with my love of old houses, wooden steps and heavy banisters. I also love spiral staircases for some unknown reason.

A claw foot tub - I am not someone who enjoys taking baths. I'm a shower person. So I know it's absolutely ridiculous for me to want a claw foot tub as badly as I do. But something about the look of them... I absolutely adore them.

A finished basement - I am, for the most part, much happier hanging out in the basement than I am upstairs. It's my retreat from the summer, especially when I don't have A/C.

A really nicely done kitchen - I cook and bake a lot. If the kitchen I have now has taught me anything it's that having a shitty kitchen is torture. Not having enough counter space, too few cupboards, bad layout, shitty lighting - it all makes doing something I love more like a chore and that's just unacceptable. Also, if I had my way, every kitchen would come with a dishwasher (whether that be a machine or someone, I don't care as long I don't have to ever wash them again).

A private library - We are talking dream home, after all. Mine would definitely have a private library. I don't even require a big room, just one room entirely devoted to my books (of which there are hundreds) with an enormous chair and a reading lamp.

A pool - Again, we're talking about my dream home here. Fun fact: I love to swim. I could happily swim every day. I just hate public pools and beaches are so damned crowded. A private pool would make me happier than I can say.

Enough room to keep a horse - This is the most cliche girl thing I will ever be caught admitting to, but I love horses. I always have. I've long said that one of my biggest goals in life is to be able to own a horse. Much like I could swim every day, horseback riding is something I would kill to be able to do every day.

And finally (for the purposes of this post anyway, I could keep going forever)

A really amazing entertainment room - Movies aren't something I just enjoy. They aren't something I watch "once and a while". They are a huge part of my life. I went to film school for a reason. Not having a good place to sit and watch movies would ruin an otherwise ideal home. Have you seen pictures of entertainment rooms people have dumped thousands of dollars in to? Yes. Like that. Maybe even a guest house converted in to one big home theatre.

That Was Strike Two

I may have mentioned that I got new neighbours a while ago. The house next door seems to have cycled through a few since my old neighbours left (I really liked them and I wish they hadn't moved). Not one of those people have been good neighbours. They've all ranged from annoying to completely obnoxious.
The latest batch, however, have been something special. One of the most interesting interesting things to note is that I actually know one of the people living there. She's an ex co-worker.
I think she should be glad that she's an ex and not current co-worker.
The last couple of weeks have gone about the same. Clearly more than one person in the house gets every other Friday off because every other Thursday they all go out and party. So at around 2.30am they all show up back at home, loud, drunk and obnoxious. Right outside my bedroom window.
I have to get up at 6.30am to get ready for work. So you can imagine how frustrating it is to be woken up and kept awake for an hour listening to the stupid drunks outside and my dog having a spaz attack.
Yeah.
So here's the deal, neighbours of mine. Last night was strike two. I'm finished. We're not doing this again in two weeks time because I've had quite enough.
If this happens again, I will be calling the cops. Make no mistake, I am not fucking with you. My sleep means more to me than your fun. And you know what? I won't lose a minute of it to feeling bad for doing it either.

I Give A Damn

GLBT rights issues are something very close to my heart. I give a damn. In fact, I give several million damns. The fact that at this point in our history as a species we still have people who aren't given the same rights and freedoms as everyone else is sickening and despicable.

But we can continue to fight for change and if anything was ever worth the fight, this damn well is.

Drunk And Nerdy*

I went for supper with my friend Ted last night. Somehow we ended up spending nearly the entire time coming up with some of the best and worst drinks ever created.

The M. Night Shyamalan - A shitty drink, with a twist!

This drink is dedicated to the man and his films.

Jack - The depressing lead of the movie

Grenadine - The "something special" to lift up the lead and give him a little hope

151 - Like M. Night's movies, leaves you confused and wondering what the hell happened (and, if you've just watched one of his movies, you'll wish you were very, very drunk).

Cranberry Juice - The bitterness his movies leave you with.

Served in a Martini glass (chilled or not, it doesn't matter - much like his movies) rimmed with crushed cinnamon hearts (they claim to be cinnamon, but we all know they're not and they leave you with the taste of bile at the back of your throat).

Finished with a twist of lime (Every movie has his trademark twist, so something expected but not as obvious as lemon) - May be substituted with grapefruit if you're not feeling quite bitter enough.

The Adversary - Pronounced "Adver-ser-ee"

This is a drink for Sean Connery. It must be drunk while wearing a kilt and preferably while watching "Hunt for Red October".

Scotch - Obviously

Mike's Hard Cranberry - Something in-your-face, that clearly doesn't belong there

Served with a Jaggerbomb chaser (to get you drunk enough to slur and hyper enough to go head to head with Connery).

Sabotage - Pronounced "Sabo-t-A-ge"

This is a drink for the beloved Captain Kirk. It's a girly drink, designed to bring the ladies, to sneak up on them, knock them on their ass and have them wake up wondering what the hell happened.

Triple filtered vodka - Something easy to hide but strong enough to do some damage

Strawberry juice - A straight up girl drink

Shaved ice - No matter how hot, you're not going to melt this cowboy

Served in a chilled martini glass, rimmed in vanilla sugar with a chocolate drizzle.

The Sabre Tooth

Bacon vodka - Shot

Tabasco

Jalepeno Bacon Salt rim

Bacon Bit garnish

Meat on meat on meat, with a bite.

Substitute the Jalepeno Bacon Salt for Maple Bacon salt and add liquid smoke - You have yourself A Wolverine

The Jubilee

One shot of Blue Bols in a shot glass rimmed with Pop Rocks.

This one it pretty self-explanitory.

The Nightcrawler

Kirschwasser - Shot

Gin - Shot

Served separately, mixed in a glass and then shot.

Must be served under a black light.

The Deadpool

Redbull - Shotgunned

Green apple Sour Puss - Shot

Maple Syrup - Shot

A raw egg (served in a shot glass) - with Tobasco garnish

Red food colouring should be added to the first two shots.

Between each shot the drinker should talk himself out of each shot before doing it anyway.

Finished by punching yourself in the face.

The Bizzarro Superman

This drink is much like a traditional tequila shot.

Salt is licked off the hand followed by a shot of pure lemon juice. A shot of tequila is thrown over your shoulder. Finished by punching the person to your left.

And finally...

The Apocalypse**

This is a line shot.

3 shots - 151

1 shot - Snakebite

2 tumblers - 151

1 tumbler - Hot 100

1 pint - 151

Finished by burning down the bar.

*For the complete set of Star Trek theme drinks - go here.

** Not recommended for human consumption. Ever. For any reason.

I May Have A Problem...

Good-Bye, Old Friend

It's been a long time coming and honestly, I don't know why today was the day. But today is the day The Gwenhwyfar Letters died.
There was a time when I needed it. That time has past. I'm a different person than I was when I started it and, frankly, this person doesn't have that kind of energy any more. And I'm good with that.
So thanks to everyone who read it. I'll carry on blogging with the other three I'm still keeping up.

Venting

I need to vent.

That's not an apology, it's a warning. I'll start by saying that I intend to vent about parenting stuff. No, this isn't about you. This is about me. That would be why I'm writing it on my site.

If that's the start of a post you don't want to read then I recommend watching the Christoph Waltz video. He's hot AND funny.

Now...

Here's the thing - I'm part of the whole "child-free" thing, I guess. Not that "I guess" about how I feel, just that I don't like that it's become a movement and I'm not much on being part of groups. I honestly don't give a shit if you want kids. Actually, your breeding makes another compelling argument for me not to have kids. There is no need for me to do it. The species will carry on without my contribution.

I'm also not much on children. Actually, to be more accurate, I'm not much on the children most people are raising. Shitty parenting makes for shitty kids. I personally know some really awesome kids, but they are unfortunately few and far between.

Now let me explain - it's not just that I'm disinterested. It skeeves me out. Completely.

Pregnant women and babies generally make me immensely uncomfortable. The thought of actively seeking to touch someone's pregnant belly makes me gag. The sound of a baby crying will drive me out of a house. The whole thing makes my skin crawl.

A big part of that is my absolute disgust with hearing the gorey details about other peoples health problems. I have seen pictures of some of the most horrific injuries in the name of research but I seriously don't want to hear about every detail of your last pap smear.

Most people do me (and most of the population) the favour of keeping that kind of shit to themselves or, at least, to only dole it out upon request (which is greatly appreciated, btw).

Somehow tho, pregnancy seems to shut off that all too important internal censor. Suddenly every bodily function is up for general conversation, every medical problem is gossip.

I don't give a shit how far along you are, there is never a time that I need an announcement every time you pee and I will never, ever ask how constipated you are. I also don't ever want to hear the words "contractions" and "dilated" again.

It seems like even the idea of having a baby is enough to make people insane. It's the only time that it seems to be socially acceptable to tell people how much you're having sex. Which, for the record, is also something I am not interested in. Ever.

One more thing - all baby pictures look the same to me. One bald, ugly, tiny human looks pretty much like every other one I've seen. I'll be more interested when they start speaking more, crying less and get their bodily functions under control.

Now, all that said, I'll make you a deal. You keep this nasty shit to yourself or at least away from me and I promise not to start randomly showing you some of the more interesting make-up reference pictures I have in my collection. And take if from the girl who has made a hobby of collecting some of the morbid and disgusting images of what humans are capable of doing to one another, you're getting off easy.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

I Think It's Official

I love Christoph Waltz. It felt wrong saying that when he was "the Jew Hunter", but he's so deliciously awesome.

This Too Shall Pass

These guys make the best videos ever.

Where Plenty Of Fans Have Gone Before

I got an extra day off yesterday and I decided to celebrate my good fortune by spending as much time as possible in my PJs, on my couch, watching Star Trek and generally being a nerd. I managed pretty well, had a super nerdy day and even went out for a bit and picked my self up Bones and Khan bobble heads to go with the Spock my cousin got me for my birthday.
And because all of that just wasn't nerdy enough I thought "I should start a new blog. Three just isn't enough."
So behold - Tea. Earl grey. Hot.
Engage.

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See? I'm Not The Only One

From the guy who brought us the Star Wars Ep. 1 review (if you haven't seen it yet, the whole thing, do it now) comes another Avatar review.

Make 365

A few people I know have been doing 365 projects, in fact it seems to be the new trend and apparently I missed the memo. Well, I'm all caught up now and I've decided to give it a go. Not because it's a trend and certainly not because everyone else is doing it. I'm doing this because there are lots of things I keep putting off or that get stuck in the planning stages and I need a push. I need some reason to get off my ass and get some work done.
So here we are. Every day for 365 days I plan to make something. Anything, really. Just so long as I make it from scratch. I'm not going to set too many rules for myself (as I tire of rules quickly) apart from not making the exact same thing over and over. I'm not going to set a size or difficulty requirement.
It might be jewelry stuff, it might be baking, it might be sewing or knitting or painting. And I'm going to try to get pictures of everything and link them here when I think of it.
Right now, I'm on day six. You can check out day 1, 3 and 4 on Flickr already. (Day 2 and 5 will be up soon)

Haiti

I was going to try and avoid the subject entirely, not because I don't care but because it's everywhere I look. Then this morning I read that they've been struck with another earthquake or a powerful aftershock. Whatever you want to call it.
I've been following the news quietly, looking through the pictures and it's heartbreaking. I know that a lot of terms like "heartbreaking" and "tragic" have been tossed around a lot this week, but I can't think of a better word. It really is.
What strikes me most about the whole thing is how torn I am. Half of me is awe struck at how amazingly selfless, giving, and generous people can be. The amount of money that people have given, the time, the man power, it's wonderful. But at the same time The other half of me has never been so completely disgusted with just how selfish, cruel and down right evil people can be. The people who are taking advantage of those in desperate need, using a tragedy to push a political or religious agenda, it's mind boggling and sickening.
My heart goes out to everyone in Haiti and I can only hope that through some work and the help of those good people still left out there, things will improve soon.

Avatar: You Knew This Was Coming, Right?

Yes, I saw it. Please stop asking. I'll even tell you exactly what I thought of it so I don't have to keep repeating myself because, frankly, it's gotten a bit tiring. I'll even start with what I liked.

It was really pretty and the 3D was amazing.

And now on to everything else. No really, that's about all the good I have to say about this movie. Sorry kids, if you wanted sugar and gumdrops you came to the wrong place.
For a movie that cost $500 million to make and has taken over a billion at the box office, I couldn't help but feeling like the movie is more of a success because of advertising than because it's a good movie. I guess when a director goes over ten years between big projects and gets a budget of $500 million people just automatically assume it's going to be AMAZING.
I'll start with my biggest complaint - I've seen this movie before. It was called Fern Gully, it was also called Pocahontas, it was Dances with Wolves, Braveheart and a book - Call Me Joe. It was a dozen movies I've seen before and who did it better.
As a friend of mine pointed out (and who I agree with, by the way), a movie need not be original to be good. There are hundreds of movies that are rip offs of hundreds of other movies, books, ideas, etc. and they're all really good. But what makes them good it that they took something I've seen before and did it in a way I've never seen before. Star Trek was a really good example of that and if you don't remember how I felt about that movie, I suggest you go reread my review.
But Avatar didn't do that. It didn't make these ideas its own. It just stuck in new characters and changed the name of the planet - TADA! New movie! Right?
Yeah, not so much.
It wouldn't even be so bad if that was my only complaint. Of course, it's not.
When the most believable character in the movie is animated, you have a problem. Neytiri seemed like the only character that actually belonged (even then, it was mostly when she was upset). Every other character was wooden, over the top or bounced between the two. Sigourney Weaver's over the top bitchiness combined with the decision to make her a smoker was just silly. Sam Worthington was so wooden for the first half of the movie they could have just used a cardboard cutout. Michelle Rodriguez was apparently playing Michelle Rodriguez: chopper pilot.
Then there were the bad guys - Gov. Ratcliffe... er... I mean Parker Selfridge played by Giovanni Ribisi (good work on making his name as close to "selfish" as you could, James) and Hexxus... er... Col. Quaritch played by Stephen Lang.
I'm not going to blame these guys entirely for being cast in roles that are so worn out they should be retired to the old roles home because, really, what are you supposed to do with that?
Giovanni was playing the typical corporate, money loving, environment hating, soulless bastard. His mantra throughout the film is "they're only trees and savages are stupid" despite overwhelming evidence. He's arrogant and stupid and about as one dimentional as a character can get.
Stephen got the wholly original role (where's that sarcasm punctuation when I need it) as the cartoonishly over the top bad guy with a gun. His motto is "shoot first, second, third... don't bother with questions". He's laughable to say the least and so unbelievable that it's hard to feel like he's a genuine threat.
All of this is compounded by some serious holes and leaps you're supposed to make. Jake mentions only once that on earth there's nothing green left but we've never been shown the earth he's from. We also have to assume that the humans aren't there to colonize the planet, what with it having air that will kill you if everything else on the planet doesn't kill you first. So they're just there for some substance James Cameron only thought to really mention once? And then what? They go back to their own dying world? What's the plan here? Are people really that stupid in the future? We haven't learned anything?
It's only mentioned that Jake's brother was a scientist and the one who was meant for the mission but he was killed off before he could leave. "For the paper in his wallet". So he was mugged? And an organization with that much money on the line decided to take an untrained, uneducated meat-head and put him in his place? And they didn't think a little training before hand would be, I dunno, a good idea? Uh huh.
But it all works out alright because Grandmother Willow... um... Eywa says he's cool.
*Sigh*
Like I said, the movie is really pretty but everything else left me wondering how, exactly, James Cameron is still getting work. Even the prettiness got a bit mind numbing after a while, and not in a good way. As amazing as the animation was, when combined with real actors it still looked clownish and out of place. It was like spending two hours trapped in a technicolor acid trip nightmare. Pandora at night was so silly it was like "Las Vegas: the rain forest".
I don't know, maybe I've just gotten that jaded but this movie was a major disappointment and I say that as someone who wasn't expecting much.

Julia

There have always been women I've looked up to, admired and respected. They haven't changed much over the years because, I like to think, I've made some good choices. They're strong women who made it because they deserved it, not because anyone ever handed it to them. They're the kind of women we need more of.

Julia Child has been one of those women for a long time.

I like to cook, I always have and I love to bake. I'm perfectly happy to spend all day working on one project while friends and family shake their heads and wonder. I love kneading bread by hand or spending two days making perfect cinnamon buns. I find something special in cookies that are all just a little different. I find an amazing comfort in the smell of freshly baked pie. And when I found this bliss, I found Julia.

When I'm at a loss for what to do, when things blow up in my face, when I'm trying to get the goddamned waxed paper to curl in to a proper piping bag for the thirtieth time, I turn to Julia. She doesn't always hold the answer or fix everything but she does make me feel like it's okay to fail. For me, that's a BIG thing.

I know that Julia isn't the best chef to have ever taken up the ladle and whisk and I think that's part of why I love her. She was fallible and readily admitted it. I've watched hours and hours of her show and it always makes me feel so much better about my efforts. I don't get that feeling from any other cooking show. They're all so perfect and clean cut, everything works out right every single time. How is that supposed to help?

Julia routinely had things go wrong, and you know what? It wasn't the end of the world. She took the opportunity to show you how to save the day, to salvage the wreck or at worst, to just carry on because sometimes shit happens.

But you want to know one of the biggest reasons I love Julia as much as I do?

She was 32 when she started cooking.

I often panic that I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I went to school and I love doing fx make-up but I know it will never be what I "do". There's nothing I can really point to and say "I want to be THAT forever and ever". I worry about reaching lots of life's milestones and I often feel like I'm so far behind that I'll never catch up.

Julia gives me hope.

I know it was never her intention and I know it's more in my head than anything. But I'm okay with that.

"Upon reflection, I decided I had three main weaknesses: I was confused (evidenced by a lack of facts, an inability to coordinate my thoughts, and an inability to verbalize my ideas); I had a lack of confidence, which cause me to back down from forcefully stated positions; and I was overly emotional at the expense of careful, 'scientific' though. I was thirty-seven years old and still discovering who I was." - Julia Child (1912 - 2004)