Monday, Bloody Monday

So I'm home sick today. Am I sick? Technically no. So why am I home?

This morning I woke up at 5.30am and about five minutes later I got a nose bleed. This wouldn't seem like a reason to stay home but let me assure you, after 45 minutes, a call to the health line, a whole box of kleenex, half a roll of toilet paper and having to decide wether or not to go to the hospital it most certainly is. 

I'm also going to take this opportunity to share a few other things I learned this morning. 

- When your nose gushes blood for 45 minutes it tends to get a little troubling. 

- The health line is unbelievably busy at 6am.

- Even while potentially bleeding to death, I'll still insist that I don't really need to go to the hospital.

- Losing a lot of blood at 6am will leave you weak, dizzy, light headed and with a serious headache.

- Blood thinners will actually thin your blood. It's not just something they made up. Thinned blood does not clot as well as one might hope.

- If your nose is bleeding enough, chances are good that a fair portion of the blood will run down your throat. This is likely to make you gag.

- Swallowing too much blood will probably make you nauseous. 

- If your nose is bleeding enough for you to be spitting blood, there is a problem.

So now you know and you can skip trying this yourself.

That's right, Kill the Body, doing stupid things and hurting ourselves to educate you - the unwashed masses.

I Wasn't Even Pretending To Be A Ghost

My cat is special. The kind of special that would have him wearing a helmet and taking the little yellow bus to school if he wear a person. He is also afraid of a ridiculous array of things. Like oven mitts for example. So for the most part, nothing much surprises me any more but last night he managed to shock me.
I got new sheets for my bed. They're nothing fancy, just white sheets with red and orange stripes. So I striped down the bed and threw my other sheets in the wash, remade the bed, no problem. Right?
Wrong.
Apparently my cat is TERRIFIED of my new sheets. He would stand on the blanket on my bed but when I set him on the actual sheets he jumped like I set him on a hot burner and freaked. It was hilariously funny until he spazzed and clawed my arm and face.
I actually had to take the sheets off the bed and replace them with my old sheets to get him to calm down. And even then it took some convincing to get him to understand that the evil sheets were gone and the bed was once again safe for kitties. I washed the new sheets last night in the hopes that it might just be because they still smell weird or something. I haven't gotten a chance to try them out again, so I'll keep you updated.
I should also mention that just to check and make sure that there wasn't something horribly wrong with the sheets (like they were covered in Cat Repellent Bat-Spray) I went and got my other cat. When I set him on the sheets he looked at the sheets, then at me and meowed indignantly for having woken him up for something as stupid as checking the sheets. So I'm going to have to assume that my other cat is out of his tiny little mind.
Finally, I wanted to point out that when I say he clawed my face, I really mean he clawed my face.

This better not scar or everyone is going to know that I really am the evil twin.