Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Funny? Not Even A Little

As I have previously stated, I hate AFV and all the shows out there like it. They are the kind of shows that glorify poor decision making skills and stupidity. They play to the lowest form of entertainment. I really believe that shows of that kind only serve to dumb down the already slow witted general public.
But the one thing that I hate most of all about shows like that are quite a few of the videos involving small children and animals (The former being a group I don't really care for and the latter a group I love dearly).
Last night when I stopped at my friend's house, he had AFV on so I ended up seeing more than I cared to. One video in particular caught my eye.
After watching a toddler in a bathtub pull a nearby cat (rather roughly, I might add) in to the water only to have the cat spaz (That's right, letting your naked child haul and angry cat, complete with claws, in to a bathtub is a REALLY GOOD IDEA) I was just about done. I'd love to tell you I was surprised that it only got worse.
It was followed by a video of a very small child crawling along after a tiny frog (it apparently had gotten in to their house as it was hoping frantically across the carpet). The baby kept grabbing at the poor thing in the ungracious manner that babies have while the camera looked on and the parents laughed. When the baby finally got ahold of the terrified frog I was cringing but the announcer was kind enough to assure everyone that the baby didn't crush the frog.
While the parents watched the baby nearly squishing the life out of a living thing (and laughed) it shoved the poor frog in its mouth and killed it that way.
Yeah, Mr. Announcer. Thanks for telling us all not to worry that the baby wasn't going to squish the frog in its hand. And way to go, mom with the camera, for waiting until that happened (because we didn't all see that coming) to put down the fucking camera and dig the now very dead frog out of your child's mouth.
Can someone please tell me what part of that was meant to be funny?
Actually, no. Don't. I would like to hold on to a little tiny piece of me that believes that there are still people out there who also can't see what part of that is supposed to be comical.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Thanks A Lot

It's my mom's birthday tomorrow. It falls shortly after Father's Day so there's always a bit of an over lap in planning, which I'm usually left with the bulk of.
That's only partially a complaint. In all honesty, I like it that way. It leaves very little up to chance when I don't have to count on anyone, I know what's going on, I know that everything is handled (or failing that, that there is a back up plan) and I actually LIKE doing the planning. I LIKE making supper. I LIKE all of those things because it's one of the big ways I show that I care.
So when I was talking to my mom today and she mentioned supper tomorrow and that my brother had already spoken to her about it, I was a little surprised.
Before Father's Day I had asked him what he was planning and told him we needed to talk about it. Father's Day came and went and he didn't say a word. It's not unusual for him to just forget everything so I made a plan. I even took tomorrow afternoon off to make supper. I spent a week looking up recipes and figuring things out. I was figuring out desert and getting my grocery list together.
But no.
My brother had already spoken to her about dinner and failed to mention any of this to me.
I plan this shit out for every single occasion and the ONE time he decides to help it's by making all the plans AND NOT TELLING ME.
So all the hours I spent planning were for nothing. He left me without anything to do, which makes me feel like a fucking schmuck. And now because I'm mad, hurt and upset my mother wants to cancel everything and just not have a birthday because, you know, that doesn't make me feel even more like a fucking douche bag.
The best part is, if I hadn't spoken to my mother I would have gone to get groceries tonight and gone to make supper tomorrow so my idiot brother could show up with his own groceries in tow.
It's days like these I wish I could drink.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Put It In Your Face Hole

Rice is something I like when there's stuff with it. It's rare that I ever eat just rice. I don't really care for it alone. All that may have changed (sort of). I have discovered furikake*.
This shit is awesome. I bought some earlier and wanted to try it out. Since I had some left over rice from a few days ago, supper seemed like a good chance to try it out. I will never be sad that I did.
Between a sammich and the rice, I almost didn't want to eat the sammich. It was just taking time away from eating the rice. It was also taking up room in my stomach for the delicious, delicious rice.
I am suddenly INCREDIBLY happy I live within walking distance of the store that sells it. I have a feeling I'm going to go through a lot.

*Although it's spelled a little too much like Bukkake.