Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy Boxing Day

Try not to get trampled and for the love of Groucho, please folks, a 50% off sale is no reason to start a fist fight in the middle of Best Buy. Trust me.
For all of you weirdos who have no idea what I'm talking about - Boxing Day has more or less become our answer to Black Friday. Only it's after Christmas. Every idiot and their screaming brats load in to the car and head down to whatever store is having the best sales and proceeds to forget any manners they may have had before they walked through the front door. Then they all fight for the honour of spending money on crap they don't really need. All the while the unfortunate staff of any store open on boxing day spends their shift trying not to kill each and every person in the store and to hang on to the last shred of sanity left to them. Golly-gee, doesn't that sound like fun?
Personally, I'd rather sleep in.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Food For Thought And Also Eating

I love food. I love talking about food. I love eating food. I love cooking and baking. I love the food channel. It's all wonderful. By that same token, I'm also a food snob. This seems to be a constant source of entertainment for most people who know me well. I'm not a picky eater by any means, I just like quality food. Is that so wrong?
Now, all that being said, it's come to my attention over the years that I eat some weird things. I never thought anything of it until someone would see me eating something odd or it would come up in conversation and suddenly I'd have a room full of people laughing and asking all kinds of silly questions.
So, now to get this all out in the open, to get it out of the way, to save myself a lot of time later - here is a list of the weird shit I like to eat. A lot of it is ethnic type food, which thankfully is becoming much more common and the rest is shit I picked up from my family.

Raw fish - I eat sushi on an almost regular basis. I love raw fish. Yes, I can hear your jokes from here. Thanks. Oh and this also means I eat quite a lot of fish eggs. Tasty.

Pickled herring - I'm german, what can I say? I also love Kraut and sardines. It seems to be a genetic flaw.

Smoked eel - I love smoked eel more than I love most people. Fuck you if you don't. More for me.

Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches - They're good. Seriously. Try them. Smooth peanut butter, dill pickle, bread. Seriously.

Perogies with peanut butter - the only thing in the whole world that goes together with perogies as well as sour cream is peanut butter. Would I lie to you?

Tofu - I eat A LOT of tofu. I actually like it. You would too if someone cooked it for you properly.

Red bean paste - there's a chinese bakery in town that makes a variety of buns, my very favourite of which is the red bean paste (or sweet bean paste). The only thing I love more than those were the red bean paste dumplings my favourite chinese restaurant used to make. Man, I miss then so much.

Black tree fungus - It's crunchy, it's chewy, it's delicious. Leave me alone.

Seaweed - I have two packages in my freezer as I type and I often go and pull out a piece to eat. Just seaweed on it's own. It's good. Really.

hmmm... that's all I can think of right now.
I can't be the only one who eats weird shit! I just can't!

More Sad News

I was absolutely hearbroken to read that Majel Barrett passed yesterday. Majel was always one of my all time favourite Star Trek regulars. Whether it was as Number One (however short lived the character was), Nurse Chapel or in every episode as the computer. Although I must say that no one holds a candle to Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the fifth house, holder of the sacred chalice of Rixx, heir to the holy rings of Betazed.
The final frontier just won't be the same without her.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

23 Hours And Counting *UPDATE*

Firstly, wow. I just reread what I wrote earlier and it's both worse than I'd hoped and better than I thought it would be. But then I should probably point out that since my last post I only managed to get one hour of sleep. Sort of.
I mean that I fell asleep on the couch watching Mission Hill and kind of half napped half just stared at the TV in some kind of weird sleep-deprived stupor. So we're getting on to about 35 hours on one hour of sleep. Which might not be so bad really if it weren't for the fact that I'm at work and I have to drive myself home in a little bit. (did I mention it's -30 outside with the wind?)
None of this is really making it very safe for me to be out and about. In fact, this is probably the stupidest thing I've done in a long time. Not that staying up was my idea. What else are you supposed to do when you can't sleep? Stay up, right? Yeah.
Secondly, I finished God of War which makes part of me sad because I really wanted there to be more game. The other part of me is way too excited that I beat the shit out of that game. That Kratos is one bad-ass Motherfucker.

23 Hours And Counting

In a little less than an hour I will have been up for a full day. Don't ask me why. I'm really not sure. Insomnia is a cruel master. The kind of cruel that some people pay money for in dimly lit, houses of ill repute and sticky floors where everyone wears black leather, it's not uncommon to see people being lead around on leashes, the floors are sticky but no one really wants to know why and no one should ever see fully lit. (At least, that's what I imagine those places are like.)
Insomnia coupled with a handful of painkillers and a new video game. It was just more than I could possibly have stood a chance against. I mean, honestly, I haven't even had any coffee. I just wasn't tired. (Although I did take out my contacts a little while ago, my eyes were starting to hurt.)
I'm starting to feel it now tho. I'm having trouble thinking clearly and speaking coherently. Also my arms are feeling distinctly waterlogged but then so are my legs. I guess, at least, I have a matched set. Right? Maybe I'm actually tired. Maybe it's the drugs kicking in. Maybe I'm dying from some new and exotic disease. Who knows?
If it is indeed the latter, I would like to leave my coffins to Janna, my cats to Robin, my bills to Amanda and everything else to Cole. Enjoy.
Oh and by the way, since I mentioned the new video game - God of War is so fucking awesome it hurts my brain. I'm just sad that I'm nearly finished it. I wish there was more. Kratos and me, we make one hell of a team. He's one fuckin wicked dude. We spent all day yesterday and all last night killing all manner of evil shit. And, goddamn, did we ever fuck the minotaur's shit up.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Bye Bye, Bettie

I was saddened to hear that Bettie Page passed away earlier today.
Like so many others I've been enthralled with her for years. She's the classic, the perfect and the notorious.
So bye bye, Bettie. No one will ever replace you.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Welcome To Meme-terpiece Theatre

Hey look, another meme I stole! Woo!

1. Pick 25 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB, find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them in a note for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions. That's cheating and it ruins the fun.

1. "That guy is tense. Tension is a killer. I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat. He was so stressed in the morning..."

2. "You're in love. Have a beer."
"Oh, my body's a temple."
"Now it's an amusement park."

3. "Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well."

4. "I know it is a little early for Christmas, Edward, but; I have a present for you."

5. "I'm only an elected official here, I can't make decisions by myself!"

6. "And it is said that the Princess returned to her father's kingdom. That she reigned there with justice and a kind heart for many centuries. That she was loved by her people. And that she left behind small traces of her time on Earth, visible only to those who know where to look."

7. "And I'm the Devil. Now kindly undo these straps."

8. "It's an old habit. I spent my life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless but not men. How's your boy?"

9. "Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. But I would like to address your general attitude of hopeless negativism. Consider the lilies of the goddamn field or... hell! Take at look at Delmar here as your paradigm of hope."

10. "I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death..."

11. "My grandfather's work was doodoo! I am not interested in death! The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life! "

12. "I wouldn't bring up Paris if I were you, it's poor salesmanship."

13. "After living in the USA for more than thirty-five years they called me an undesirable alien. Me. Johnny Rocco. Like I was a dirty Red or something!"

14. "I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed."

15. "Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell."

16. "I do wish we could chat longer, but... I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye."

17. "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

18. "Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you?"

19. "Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with... molecular structures."

20. "Have no fear, little one... I am here to protect thee."

21. "Why should I love God? He strung up his only son like a side of veal. I shudder to think what he'd do to me."

22. "What a mystery this world, one day you love them and the next day you want to kill them a thousand times over."

23. "My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift. You threw in the lake next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?"
"A picture of me?"
"No! The definition of the word idiot, which you fucking are!"

24. "Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not "every man for himself", and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up."

25. "Okay. Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner who *mocks* him and *laughs* at him as he's repeatedly *crushed* and *maimed*! Hope you'll *enjoy* it!"

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

You Know What Today Is?

No, it's not Rex Manning Day.
So of course I went out and braved the ice and snow and cold and shitty drivers and Best Buy shoppers to get my grubby hands on my very own copy. Along with God of War and Motown Classics Gold. (Seriously, what is it with me and Best Buy? I never seem to be able to get out of that place without at lest three items. I can't remember the last time I went there and spent less than $30. It's like some kind of crazy money stealing vortex of entertainment. *sigh*)
Now I'm home again and I plan to celebrate this wonderful holiday (it is a holiday, right?) by sitting on my couch in my jim-jams and watching me some delicious Batman action. Feel free to join me, popcorn and snacks are welcome.

Monday, December 01, 2008

I Should Have Slept In

Pink Slipped
Made Redundant
Walking Spanish
Bum's Rush
Laid Off
Given The Chop
Shit Canned
Let Go
Got The Boot